Fatwa No : 176975
His wife hates him because of her unplanned second pregnancy
Fatwa Date : Jumaadaa Al-Oula 12, 1433 / 4-4-2012
We had 2 children with a gap of just 6 months & my wife had to live in pakistan with IN-Laws for 2nd baby's delivery.She experienced a very hard time with them due to their negative behaviour towards her & my elder son who was few months old by the time she got pregnant with 2nd kid. She was humiliated & joked by other relatives for this quick pregnancy. Coz of this mental torture & negative behaviour,, she now hates me & her In-Laws alot. I have asked for her 4giveness & told her tat It was unplanned pregnancy but she doesn't accept anything. It seems she has become my enemy No.1. She just hates me alot & only bearing me coz of kids. I love my wife very much but can't bear her haterness towards me. We didn't hv sex for more than 1yr as she fears for 3rd pregnancy & don't trust me at all even though I told her tat every precautions vl b taken. Plz gv any advice so i can show to her. Also, am I sinful by making her pregnant with 2nd baby without proper gap. I hope u got my problem.. Plz help me as i want to hv good marriage with her.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.
We will answer your question in the following points:
Firstly: It is permissible to resort to temporary birth control when necessary but it is not permissible to resort to permanent birth control.
Secondly: It is permissible to resort to birth control by using permissible means such as (a husband) using ‘Azl (coitus interrupts) with the consent of the wife, or (a wife) using contraceptive pills and the like which do not cause any harm.
However, it is not permissible for the wife to refuse to share the bed with her husband (i.e. have sexual intercourse with him) just out of fear of becoming pregnant.
Furthermore, she should know that her husband becoming angry with her due to her refusing his call to bed without a sound reason leads the angels to curse her and makes Allaah angry with her as well, as indicated by the Sharee’ah texts; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88547 and 85402.
Thirdly: the wife should be kind to her husband and should have good marital relations with him. The fact that his family (her in-laws) mistreated her and harmed her does not make the husband bear their sin and he has nothing to do with this as they are the only ones who are responsible for their sins. Therefore, holding the husband responsible for his relatives' mistreatment of his wife is an injustice, especially that he had apologized to her and expressed his love for her and that they have children who are a strong bond. Therefore, we advise her to be keen on achieving what makes this relationship last between her and her husband, and they should tolerate each other's mistakes and errors as much as possible. Each one of them should be good to the other and they should advise and consult each other in regard to pregnancy or other matters that they wish to undertake.
Fourthly: You are not sinful for your wife’s second pregnancy with no sufficient interval between the two children as you mentioned, because you did not exceed the limits of Allaah in this.
Allaah Knows best.
|The Stage of Patience – II||
|The Stage of Patience - I||
|Advice to Muslims on the Means of Attaining Chastity||