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Fatwa CenterDivorced father's right to see his children even if he does not spend on them
Question
Salaamu aleikoum, I have a daughter from previous marriage who is now 14. She's been living with me in my care for all her life. I was Islamically married to my ex, but he never married me in the civil manner. It wasn't a good marriage, but I don't go into details publicly. He didn't sign her birth certificate aknowledging he is the father. We got divorced when my daughter was 1yr. He hasn't given her her rights as far as maintence, affection, etc. He's only seen her 4x in her life, and calls once a year. He mostly wants to talk to me. he's been more interested in what I'm doing, than her. 5yrs after the divorce I remarried then moved to a Muslim country. He knew about this and has no problem with it. During his calls, he wants to talk to me, asking about my life and demanding to take her for the summer. I've told him I rather him talk to my husband or directly to our daughter. I give daughter the phone. He makes her all kind of promies but yet to fulfill them. I have no problem giving him his right to relationship, but I think he needs to take baby step and prove himself1st. Start by calls, visits before demanding to take her. So I am asking, is it his right to take her (out of the country) for visits, while he really isn't doing his duty? What should we do, to make sure everyone is getting their rights? BarakAllahu fikoum
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
Scholars held different opinions regarding the custody of the daughter after the age of seven. Some of them view that her father is entitled to her custody if he is eligible for that. Others believe that she is given the choice whether to live with her father or mother. In any case, whoever has the right to custody from both parents does not have the right to prevent the other from seeing the child. The father's being negligent in his duty to spend on his daughter does not waive his right to see her and to her kind treatment towards him.
There is nothing wrong if the girl travels with her father to his country as long as the journey is safe; otherwise it will not be permissible. Accordingly, such issues need an Islamic judge to decide what is good for the child. We advise you to refer your cause to an Islamic court; and if that is not possible (in case you live in a non-Muslim country), then refer it to the Islamic Centers. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 92103.
Allaah Knows best.
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