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Father-in-law's wife is making her life miserable

Question

Its 1 year i've being married,i stay with my inlaws,my FIL have 2 wives,my husband is 1st wives son,we all stay at 1 single home.My own MIL luvs me,but my step MIL always have a problem with me,she have tormented me a lot.she have asked her 2 kids who stay at home,not to talk to me.my FIL used to luv me a lot like his own daughter,but now he too have stopped.the worst part is,my hubby never supported me,he says that its between step MIL and I,he never worded for me,i stay way too far from my parents,except allah i dont have any folk or relative or friend of mine in this city,I feel lonely,I was just more than happy b4 my marriage alhamdulillah,she have made my life miserable,not a single day passes without my eyes shedding tears,my hubby loves his step siblings more than me,he always listen to them,never listen to me.Alhamdulillah my own MIL loves me more than anybody else here.all others have just boycotted me,i feel so lonely.my step mil hates if i talk n laugh,so nobody talks to me now,except my hubby n my mil.I feel like going back to my parents home,I never want to come back here,i'm heartbroken.For every little thing my hubby asks my inlaws,even if he gets me an ice cream,he comes back home & tell every1 that he bought me an ice cream worth Rs---.sometimes when he takes me for dinner,he comes back and tell every1 that he spent so much on me for dinner,and we have to give the menu details right from salad,soup to main course,with the bill.my step mil comes to me and tells,did u eat all that worth so much (eyes wide open,raised eyebrows).my bedroom have 2 doors,1 through hall n another through kitchen,she listen to our private talks by standing close to the door,i even caught her red handed couple of times.I dont have the habit of watching tv,i have told them a million times,but my fil got angry on me,he was like u dont like to sit and watch tv with us.now my fil dont love me anymore.she have filled hatred in fil's heart n her kids.i dont like staying in a place

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

As a wife, you have the right to have a separate accommodation instead of living with your in-laws. Your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate accommodation even if it is leased. Please refer to Fatwa 84608.

You should discuss this matter with your husband and explain to him that living in a separate accommodation is one of the most important means for preserving and maintaining the stability of the family.

Your husband should be understanding and should not impose such a harsh life on you given the potential undesirable results. You may also seek help from wise people in your family or his family in order to solve the problem.

Your husband should live with you in kindness and should not allow anyone to ruin the relationship between you. If he hears something bad about you, he should investigate and verify it first; Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful.}[Quran 49:6]

Dear sister, remind your husband that he should not disclose to anyone the details of your private life and whatever you do whether inside or outside the house; doing that may bring about envy. There are authentic Hadeeth reports that advise Muslims to conceal their personal affairs as a means to shield themselves against envy. Mu‘aath ibn Jabal  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Resort to secrecy for the fulfillment and success of your needs, for every one favored with a blessing is envied.” [At-Tabaraani - Al-Albaani graded it Saheeh (sound)]

On the other hand, Muslims are enjoined to be affectionate to each other and not to desert each other. It is impermissible for a Muslim to desert his fellow Muslim for more than three nights except for a reason a legitimate reason. Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is impermissible for a man to desert (keep apart and stop talking to) his Muslim brother for more than three nights. (It is unlawful for them that) when they meet, each of them turns his face away from the other; and the better of the two is the one who greets the other first.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Allaah Knows best.

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