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A man is attracted to beardless youths but feels terrible about it

Question

As Salaamo 'alaykom wa rahma tuAllah wa barakatoh dear sheykh. Bismillah, I am concerned about the state of a brother and have a question regarding him. Ibn Al Qayyim (rahimahullah) stated in Al-Jawaab al-Kaaf that "If a person becomes worthless in the sight of Allaah, He afflicts him with the love of beardless youths." I have a brother who only has opened up to me and told me that he is attracted to beardless youths. He really abhors it and makes everything he can to kill this disease inside him. When he got to know the statement, he got really worried and now he doesn't know what to do. He has told me how he feel and subhan Allah it matches all the ones here.. http://islamqa.info/en/152304 Dear shaykh, I cannot leave him because he is our brother and what concerns him also concerns us. He says that he cries during prayer and since it may be so that he is worthless in the sight of Allah he doesn't find any value in doing good deeds. Subhan Allah, it is really a fitnah living in the West. I am writing to you because I would like to ask if Ibn Al-Qayyim's (r) statement implies on muslims too? He says that he was in jahiliyya about looking on beardless youths and didn't know about the prohibition until he realized his problem. Please, tell me how I can advise him to deal with this. Is it not possible that it may be waswas or a test? Should he really stop doing good deeds? Jazak Allah kheyr dear shaykh. Salaam 'alaykom wa rahma tullahi wa barakatoh

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

We implore Allaah to help this brother overcome the urges to do sin and bless him with recovery and serenity. He should know that when a person is afflicted with an inclination to sin but he hates that sin, strives to repel it from his heart and does not translate it into forbidden looks, words or deeds, then he will not be punished (for that inclination to sin). The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Allaah has forgiven my followers the evil thoughts that occur to their minds, as long as such thoughts are not put into action or uttered.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

In fact, if the afflicted person keeps patient and refuses to give in to such urges for sin, he will be rewarded. Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said, “If a person passionately falls in love but keeps chaste and patient and hides his love, he will be rewarded for his piety. The Hadeeth reads: Whoever falls passionately in love but remains chaste and keeps his love secret then dies, he dies a martyr.” This report has been related on the authority of Yahya Al-Qattaat from Mujaahid from Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him attributing it to the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) but its authenticity is questionable and it cannot be used as decisive evidence. However, it is derived from other religious texts that when someone falls in love but abstains from forbidden looks, acts, and words, keeps his love a secret, does not express it verbally so as not to make prohibited speech either in the form of complaints to people, expression of a sinful desire, or requesting the loved one to feel the same about him, and has patience upon obeying Allaah, abstaining from disobeying Him, and enduring the pain of love in his heart like an injured person endures the pain of injury, this would be a cause for him being among those who fear Allaah and have patience. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {Indeed, he who fears Allaah and is patient, then indeed, Allaah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good."} [Quran 12:90].” [End of quote]

Some devoted worshippers even suggested that a person who is afflicted with a sinful urge but strives in repelling it, and hopes for the reward of Allaah is superior to the one whose heart is free of such urges as Ibn Al-Qayyim  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him cited in his book Tareeq Al-Hijratayn.

Therefore, we advise that brother to have patience and perform righteous deeds, and to implore Allaah to purify his heart from such urges for sin. He must ignore Satan’s attempts to dishearten him and drive him to despair of the mercy of Allaah.

As for Ibn Al-Qayyim’s statement cited in the question, it refers to the person who gives in to the urge of loving beardless boys and is determined to pursue it and resolves to act upon that urge. This is the dispraised person who deserves punishment.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 18605 and 225781.

Allaah Knows best.

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