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How to react to having a homosexual brother

Question

Assalamou alykom I'm in desperate need for an advise. I just discovered that my brother who is in his fortys is gay and commiting the act with men for the past 5 years. We come from a good conservative family and never thought one day that Allah will bring such a shame to our family. I'm devastated and I didn't tell my parents yet. I'm in my thirtees not married and I very modest and I fear Allah. What should I do if I tell my mom I'm afraid she will have a heart attack. I live with my brother now should leave the house and never talk to him anymore because I'm afraid if I tell him that Now I know he is gay it will make do the sin openly and make him feel relieved and happy now that his family knows. His is not a teenager he is a man now in his fortys. Pls help

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.

Homosexuality is a serious disease and tremendous evil that indicates the corruption of the person’s innate disposition (Fitrah). Allaah, The Almighty, destroyed the people of Loot (Lut)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention because they used to practice sodomy. Allaah prescribed a severe punishment in this worldly life and the Hereafter for those who engage in homosexual activities as underlined in Fatwa 88137.

If you are sure that your brother is actually homosexual, we advise you to supplicate Alalah for him. Verily, a sincere supplication for one’s fellow Muslims is accepted as reported in authentic Ahaadeeth. You should eagerly advise him, even indirectly. You may make him listen to religious lectures about that issue and urge him to get married. Please refer to Fataawa 90562, and 89844 about the possible means to accomplish this objective.

Also, we have highlighted in Fatwa 86090 that the consideration of interests is the basic criterion for resorting to forsaking, or cutting relations with, one’s fellow Muslim.

Finally, if your brother persistently continues to engage in homosexual activities, after taking the aforementioned steps, you may threaten to inform those people who can deter him from doing this evil. You may actually inform them, if necessary, in order to correct him and deter him from committing that grave sin. It should be noted that you are not obliged to leave the house in which he lives unless you fear for yourself any harm (by staying with him).

Allaah Knows best.

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