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Condition for a thrice-divorced woman to remarry her ex-husband

Question

I got divorced 3 talaks got married again and got divorced. After three years my first husband asked me if we could get back together and he heard I got married but he did not belive it. So he tells me if I got married after him he does not want me back. Am I doing wrong if I don't tell him I got married? The reason I would do this is for the children. Please let me know because I don't want to annoy Allah. Jazakalahu kheiran.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

If the husband divorces his wife three times and then she gets married to another man - a real marriage not Tahleel marriage (for the sole purpose of legalizing remarriage to her ex-husband) - and the second husband happens to divorce her, then it is lawful for the first husband to remarry her. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterwards until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allaah. These are the limits of Allaah, which He makes clear to a people who know.} [Quran 2:230]

For further information, please refer to Fatwa 82541.

In principle, lying is forbidden in Islam. The benefit you are seeking of reuniting the family by resorting to lying is outweighed by the harms that may result from telling that lie; for instance, your first husband may find out about you lying to him about getting married to another man and may subsequently hurt and insult you and lose confidence in you. It may even drive him to divorce you again; this is the opposite of the very purpose you are pursuing in the first place.

Therefore, you are advised to seek the help of wise and respected scholars, preachers, or Imaams of mosques where you live to talk to him, clarify the religious ruling in this regard, and tell him that it is impermissible for him to remarry you if you had not been married to another man. The mediating party should also remind him of the importance of reuniting with the family and the evil consequences incurred by divorce.

Allaah Knows best.

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