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Fatwa CenterLetting a woman one was going to marry choose a wife for him
Question
Assalaamu alaikum. Please, there is a woman that I wanted to marry, but since the mum disagreed we could not do so. The lady is trying to find another lady for me whom she said she trusts most in terms of character, beauty, her level of the deen, and so on. As I am speaking, I am also outside the country. So my question is, though I trust that lady to whom I wanted to get married, would it be good to accept the lady that she wants to find for me as I am away and do not know her? What does islam say about that. And if i accept that lady, then how could I get to know her well, I mean studying how she really is before getting married. Give the Islamic rulings on that too so that I do not stray from the path. Assalaamu alaykum.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If this woman is trustworthy, then there is no harm in seeking her help in finding you a righteous wife. Ibn Saʻd 
wrote, "Nafeesah bint Munyah 
was the one who helped the Prophet marry Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid. The Prophet always acknowledged her favor..." [At-Tabaqaat AL-Kubra]
It should be noted that even if you trust this woman, she should be qualified to be consulted in this regard; the fact that you trust someone does not mean that he is qualified to be consulted on a certain matter. Al-Ghazaali wrote, "A person who is consulted regarding the manners of women must be honest and insightful of hidden and apparent matters in this regard."
For further benefit, please refer to fataawa 2742 and 85573.
If this woman fits this profile, then there is no harm for settling for her meeting with your prospective wife. You can also ask to see her photo. There is no doubt that it is better for you to see her face-to-face yourself if it is possible; this is more likely to foster harmony and affinity between you.
Lastly, we would like to remind you that this woman who is trying to help you find a good wife is a non-mahram (marriageable) woman; you are obliged to keep this in mind when you interact with her and should abide by the relevant sharee'ah rulings and avoid all that may lead to fitnah (temptation, tribulation).
Allaah knows best.
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