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Question

Is it prohibited for a woman to say 'uff' to her husband (just as she is prohibited from saying that to her parents)?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The texts of the sharee'ah highlighted that a husband is the protector of his wife and clarified his excellence over her, and this requires that she knows his rank and status; so she is commanded to have good marital relations with him in the same manner that he is commanded to have good marital relations with her; Allaah says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allaah is Exalted in Might and Wise.} [Quran 2:228]

Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “If I were to order anyone to prostrate to someone else other than Allaah, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband.” [At-Tirmithi]

So her saying ‘uff’ to him contradicts all this, but we have not come across any statements of the scholars in regard to the ruling on a wife saying ‘uff’ to her husband. However, some scholars gave some examples of the nushooz (recalcitrance) of the wife and 'uff' could be considered in this same meaning.

Mughni Al-Muhtaaj in the Shafi'i Fiqh reads, “If the signs of her nushooz appear in her acts, such as if he finds that she is resentful and objects to him after she was soft and pleasant with him or in her words such as if she responds to him with harsh words after she was speaking to him softly, then it is recommended that he admonishes her...

For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 9623.

No matter how disagreeable this act is with the husband, it does not reach the degree of saying ‘uff’ to the parents, because saying ‘uff’ to the parents is a form of undutifulness to them and it is a grave major sin. Allaah says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.} [Quran 17:23]

Ibn Katheer  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said in his Tafseer about the interpretation of the above verse, “It means, do not let them hear anything offensive from you, not even say "uff'' which is the mildest word of disrespect.

Allaah knows best.

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