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Non-Muslim woman married to abusive Muslim husband

Question

Hello, please, someone help with advice. I will be short. I am a non-Muslim girl who has been married to a Muslim boy since December 2015. We got married with two witnesses in the mosque in front of the iman. Ever since, we have had a lot of misunderstandings and often fight. I have a very sensitive heart and want some romance and affection from him or to hear some nice words, but he never does any of this. It is always me who wants kisses, hugs and affection. Besides, we do not have physical relations as a normal couple, only very rarely. All this make me realize that he does not want me. We talked a lot about the issues between us, he said that everything would change after marriage, but nothing did. There is no improvement at all. He is still the same. I feel rejected, unwanted, and extremly unhappy. I want to end our marriage and talked to him, and he said that that would only be possible after one year and one day. I cannot wait this long. He just does not want to let me go and said that if I leave him, he will kill my whole family and put acid on my face and that I will not recognize myself in the mirror. He said that he will make my life a hell. I live in fear now, every day. We do not have the joy of each other, so why stay together? Please, can someone tell me what I can do? Is it true that I have to wait one year in order to be free? Should I go to the imam and talk about it? Please, advise me, what shall I do? Thank you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to guide you and rectify your husband.

Islam does not approve the behavior that you mentioned in the question about your husband, and his conduct contradicts the good marital relations between the spouses that Islam recommends.

Allaah says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:19]

Besides, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “Treat women kindly.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For more benefit, please refer to fataawa 86618 and 88304.

If a wife is greatly harmed by her husband, then she has the right to ask for a divorce. What your husband said, that you cannot be divorced until one year and one day passes, is not true. Where did he get this? [He has no Islamic evidence for this.]

Therefore, if he persists in this condition, then you have the right to take the matter to one of the Islamic Centers to remove harm off you by divorce or a Khul’ [divorce requested by the wife and in which she returns the bridal gift]. Please, refer to fatwa 89039.

It is evil of him that he threatens to take revenge on you and your family, so you can threaten that you will report him to the authorities to protect you from his evil; rather, you should actually report him if he showed any attempt to do what he threatened to do.

Finally, we say to you that we perceive from you that you are rational and have a sound mind, which we hope will lead you to that which is good. So we invite you to embrace Islam, which is the true religion, and if one holds fast to it in creed and conduct, then he will achieve happiness in this worldly life and the Hereafter.

For more benefit on the evidence that Islam is the true religion, please refer to fataawa 86091and 88906.

It should also be noted that there is a difference between the teachings of Islam and the wrong behavior of some Muslims, so one should not confuse between the two. Please, refer to fatwa 127523.

Allaah knows best.

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