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Wife may not issue conditional divorce

Question

Dear shaykh, assalaamu alaykum. My husband put a conditional divorce on me, which hurt me. Then I said to my husband, "I am putting a condition. If you do not touch my brother's feet, it would be our divorce." Then my husband said in Urdu, "Haan mein rakh doun ga;" meaning: yes, I will touch your brother's feet. Then I said to him that the divorce is made conditional on touching his feet, but he said, "I did not say, 'Yes,' to your conditional divorce. I just meant, 'Yes, I will touch his feet anyways,' without putting a condition, and you do not need to say a conditional divorce." However, when I said, "If you do not touch my brother's feet, it would be our divorce, I already intended to make the divorce conditional on touching his feet and intended to say it, thinking that if he says that he will touch his feet and then he does not do sol, it would be our divorce. Then in response to me putting a conditional divorce, he said "Yes, I will touch his feet."
1) He says that he will not touch his feet because he did not make this conditional divorce at the time, but Shaykh, if the divorce was made conditional on touching his feet by the wife (me), and then if at the time when I said the conditional divorce, he said that yes, he will touch his feet, would the divorce be a condition on touching his feet? I mean if I said, "I am putting a conditional divorce that if you do not touch my brother's feet, it would be our divorce," and then in response to my conditional divorce in which I made the divorce conditional on touching my brother's feet, if at the time he accepted the condition, which is "touching my brother's feet," by saying, "Yes, I will touch his feet," or, "OK, I will touch his feet," then even if he did not intend to say "yes" on the conditional divorce, would it be still a divorce if he does not touch my brother's feet since he agreed to touch his feet when I made the divorce conditional on doing so? Thank you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The wise Shariah has put the matter of divorce in the hands of the husband. Allah says (what means): {And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them].} [Quran 2:231]

In the above verse, Allah addressed the men with divorce.

Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, "Divorce is in the hands of the one who takes hold of the calf (i.e. the husband)." [Ibn Maajah]

Therefore, if your husband denies that he said "yes" as an approval to that divorce, then it is his saying that should be taken into account. So do not preoccupy yourself with thinking about this matter.

Your husband is not obliged to touch the feet of your brother. If you had asked him to do this with the intention of humiliating him, then this is evil, and it is contrary to what you are commanded to do, which is to have good marital relations with your husband and to know his status and esteem.

Allah says (what means): {…and due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].} [Quran 2:228]

Besides, Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband." [At-Tirmithi]

Regarding your statement at the beginning of the question: "My husband put a conditional divorce on me;" if what you mean is what we have already discussed, then you know the ruling now, but if what you mean is another conditional divorce, then please refer to fatwas 343267, 341788 in regard to conditional divorce.

Allah knows best.

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