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Gifting Children Equally

Question

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuhu,We live in 200 sq ft house,my brothers want us to get married so that they can marry & take their wives to this home,we are 2 sisters 3 brothers & parents living in this house.The can afford a rental house but the says this is my fathers home & I will stay here with my wife as house is not that large for 3 family they torture us.say something 2ndly sheikh if they can afford houses for their wives but my father arranges house for them by giving them another house,paying rent or house deposit don't u think islamically he(father)give the same amount to his daughters as much he is spending on his son for which he is not obliged to as providing shelter is responsibility of husband not father in law but he is spending so that his son doesn't have to.Jazaakallaahu khairan Assalamu alaikum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuhu, fee amaanillaah

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It is an obligation to be just when gifting children according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars, as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Fear Allah and be fair when gifting your children.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

However, some scholars are of the view that it is permissible to single out some children over others when there is a need.

Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said:

If he (the father) singles out some of his children with gifts, for something that requires singling them out with the gift. For instance, if the child has a special need, or a chronic disease, or is blind, or has more children (than others), or he is busy in seeking Islamic knowledge or performing other virtuous deeds. Likewise, he may also refrain from gifting one of his children because he is dissolute, or an innovator (in religious matters), or because he uses the gift in the disobedience of Allah, or spend it in the disobedience of Allah; it was reported that Ahmad stated something which indicates that this is permissible.” [End of quote]

Hence, if one of your brothers needs that your father helps him in the house rent, then your father is not sinful for this and he is not obliged to give his other children the same. However, if any other child becomes in need, then he should also help him in the same manner.

On the other hand, your father should not single out any child who is not in need with any gift, whether by paying rent for them or anything else, and if he does so, then he must be just and gift all other children equally.

Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him clarified how he [the father] should be fair in this regard saying:

If he [the father] singles out some of his children with a gift, or favors some over others when gifting them, then he is sinful and must be just between them by either of the following two matters: he either takes back the gift he had singled out some of them with, or gives the same to the others.” [End of quote]

Finally, it should be noted that the fact that the child is a male, this does not justify bringing his family (i.e. wife and children) to live in the family home. Also, his family has the right to live in a suitable house to avoid embarrassment.

Hence, everyone should be wise in solving this matter, and should not make it a reason for the devil to sow dissension and enmity between the members of the family.

Allah knows best.

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