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His Wife Does Not Want to Return to Him

Question

My parents lied to me that wife & her family wants khula, i was critically ill at that time but wife got one divorce from me at time she was expecting. Later on family got me married somewhere else. When i found out reality i tried to revive the relationship with her but now she says i gotten married so she dose not want to marry at all not with me not with anyone else.Me and my-ex has a four year old daughter who loves me a lot, i am supporting all her expenses and try to visit her too. The 4 year old daughter needs me.The question is that my ex-wife tells me she dose not like me and we were never destined to be together. She quotes the hadith “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with." My question is; if all decisions of loving or hating someone are pre decided then whats in our hands. she is a good person in general and i am also inclined towads good Alhamdolillah. Even then she dose not like me without a reason. Can't Allah put love between the hearts. Because our 4 year old is suffering a lot in this situation. Can't Allah mend hearts. Can't she see that the daughter will suffer for life. What can i tell her from islamic perspective because i believe islam dose not take a decision in isolation it looks at every situation.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If the case is as you mentioned that your family lied to you when they told you that your wife and her family wanted Khul’, then they were very wrong, so they must sincerely repent to Allah.

There is no doubt that Allah is Omnipotent and everything is very easy for Him. Allah Says (what means): {Indeed, Our word to a thing when We intend it is but that We say to it, "Be," and it is.} [Quran 16:40]

So He is able to turn hatred into love. Allah Says (what means): {Perhaps Allah will put, between you and those to whom you have been enemies among them, affection. And Allah is competent, and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 60:7]

Hence, we recommend you to earnestly supplicate Allah and ask Him to reconcile between you and your wife and to reunite the family.

The fact that the matter is decreed since eternity does not, Islamically, prevent to supplicate, because even supplication is predestined. A Muslim repels Decree by means of another Decree. Thawbaan, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Nothing repels the Divine decree except supplication.” [Ibn Maajah]

The fact that there is no love between the spouses does not necessarily mean that the family must split and for the bond of marriage to end. There are many benefits that require that the family stays together. If there is nothing else except this girl that Allah blessed you with and that binds both of you, then it is enough. ‘Umar  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “Homes are not only established on love.

There is a difference of opinion among the scholars about the meaning of the Hadeeth referred to by your ex-wife. In any case, it (the Hadeeth) does not prevent the spouses from returning to each for the benefit even if there is some hatred.

Finally, it should be noted that one should be polite when speaking about Allah; so it is not appropriate to say such a phrase about Allah, we mean your saying: ‘Can't Allah…..’

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 295609 and 86796.

Allah knows best.

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