Fatwa No : 95510
Her husband is addicted to masturbation
Fatwa Date : Rabee' Al-Aakhir 15, 1428 / 3-5-2007
I am married since 6 years. Have 3 kids. Since marraige my husband has the habit to masturbate. Its only me who has to desire to have sex. If I dont desire he will only masturbate. How long the marraige is valid without sex. I heard a marraige is not valid if sexual relation does not prevail for more than 3 months. Is this right? What can I do about my desires? I control my feelings, is it a sin if I sometimes get wet in sleep. Thanks
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Not having sexual intercourse does not affect the validity of the marriage contract, whether this is for a long or a short period. It is not correct to say that the marriage is invalidated if sexual intercourse between the husband and wife did not take place for a period of three months. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82214.
As regards your husband masturbating; if he does so with his own hand, then he is sinful and he is obliged to repent. He does not have to commit this sin while he has a wife whom he could enjoy; we fear that resorting to masturbation is being ungrateful to the bounties which Allaah blessed him with. However, if you do it for him with your own hand or with any limb of your body, then this is permissible, as a husband is permitted to enjoy his wife as he wishes [provided he avoids anal sex].
Each spouse should try to keep the other partner chaste. The scholars stated that sexual intercourse depends on the ability of the husband and the desire of the wife, and if each one of them fulfils the desire of the other without himself/herself really having a desire for it, he / she will be rewarded for doing so.
The wife is not sinful for suppressing her desire and for not asking her husband to have sexual intercourse with her. However, it is your right that your husband should not refrain from having sexual intercourse with you for a long period by which you will be harmed; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 92648 and 92496.
Finally, it should be noted that if the wife has a desire for sexual intercourse and she is shy to ask her husband, she may beautify herself for him in order to seduce him to have sexual intercourse with her, or she may give him hints so that he would realise that she desires him. For more benefit on women having wet dreams, please refer to Fatwa 91530.
Allaah Knows best.
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