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New Muslim Invited by His Non-Muslim Family who Serve Alcohol on Table

Question

I am an Italian Muslim and I am married to an Arab Muslim woman, we are living in Italy. Always my family calls us to go to have lunch or dinner with them, sometimes at home and also in restaurant. My father has to drink wine whenever he eats and so the wine will be on the table while we are all eating. What should we do? Do we have to cut them off and not to go to eat with them and if we do this wouldn't it be that I do not respect them because they are my family even if they are not Muslims, at the same time I can't ask him not to drink because it will be like I am going against his wish since we are in his house and I am ordering him and we have been invited by them, also he will not want to understand even when I tell them why not to drink or what is Islam is all about? So please help me find an answer. The same thing happens with my non Muslim childhood friends who ask us to go out with them for dinner during weekends but they also drink and I can't tell them not to since every one of them is free and I can't order them, and I don't have any other friends. So do I also have to lose them, then what would I do or how will I socialize and we are living in Europe. My wife became more strict with religion and follows well and she is wearing Hijab and she is refusing to go to my family's house or to go out with my friends to eat unless we get the answers first about this question as she wants to make sure that we are not doing something against our religion.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It is forbidden to sit at a table where alcohol is being served. It is also forbidden to accept any invitation or attend any party where these sins (drinking alcohol) are committed regardless of the person who is inviting you, whether he is a relative, a friend, or otherwise.

Jabir  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and The Last Day should not sit at a table where alcohol is served.” [Ahmad]

It is unlawful to obey or be lenient to any person whomsoever he is in doing what Allah has forbidden. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “There is no obedience in disobeying Allah; obedience is required only in what is permissible.” [Al Bukhari and Muslim]

Allah Says regarding how to keep company to non-Muslim parents (what means): {But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness...} [Quran 31:15]

We advise you not to befriend any non-Muslim. Your friends should all be people who help you in doing good and righteousness and avoiding bad and evil; these are found only among Muslims.

Your wife is right in refusing to accompany such people or go out with them on their picnics or trips as this means sitting with them and socializing with them while they are committing sins and while she can not prevent them from doing so.

Know also that the Muslim should be proud of his religion and his personality should be distinguished by Islamic characteristics everywhere and all the time. The Muslim should observe the Islamic rites whenever possible. Indeed, Islam is the true religion of Allah, The Owner of this world. So, whoever becomes a Muslim should be proud of it because he worships The Lord of lords, The Creator of the World, The Master of All, The One Who can never be defeated, The One Whose Rule is Final, The Almighty, The Great.

On the other hand, know that it is from your parent's rights and the right of any non-Muslim you know that you tell them about this great religion, and you call them to become Muslims. Let them know that whoever does not enter this religion, he will become a loser on The Last Day and will be thrown into Hellfire, and whoever accepts this religion, he will have much goodness on the Last Day. If they refuse, you will have done what is required and you will not be held responsible for their fate before Allah on The Day of Judgment.

For more benefit on the limits of obedience to parents, please refer to Fatawa 271255, 131695, 123554 and 401131.

For more benefit on correct approach to give advice to parents or elderly people, please refer to Fatawa 297928, 343564, 351385 and 13288.

Allah knows best.

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