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Love Relationship without Sex

Question

What is the opinion in Islam about love relationships (not sexual)?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Love between young men and girls is of two kinds:

First, a man whom Allah casts love of a woman in his heart, but he fears Allah and lowers his gaze until he finds a means to marry her; otherwise he does his best to keep himself away from her so as to avoid being busy with fruitless matters, or to fail in performing duties or observing Divine limits.

Ibn 'Abbas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The best solution for those who love each other is to marry.” [Ibn Maajah]

Second, a man whose love controls his heart and cannot afford marriage. Such a form of love becomes a passionate love, such as loving a woman's figure and appearance. In fact, this form of love is completely forbidden, and its consequences are bad.

Passionate love is one of the diseases of the heart and different from other diseases in its causes and treatment. So, if it controls one's heart, it becomes difficult to be cured. Loving figures passionately afflicts blank hearts; hearts that have no love of Allah; hearts that love beardless males. Such a love constitutes abnormality and sexual deviation.

If one's heart becomes full of love for Allah, the passionate love and love of figures will be removed.

Most people, who establish love relations with their women before marrying them, lose vigor and relations become cold after marriage, because each one becomes aware of the other's defects. And if they were passionate to them, they would be turned away from their duties.

Thus, The Wise Lawmaker (Allah/His Messenger) stated the practical way of treating love and specified its best channels as follows:

(1) Lowering the gaze, (2) avoiding sources of excitement, (3) guarding Allah's Orders, (4) observing fast to diminish sexual lust, and (5) urging Muslims to get married if they can afford to do so. Then, the Sharee'ah specified the standards for choosing a wife: giving priority to religion.

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For more benefit on love sickness, please refer to Fatwa 84544.

Allah knows best.

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