Abstaining from marriage because one's parents want him to spend lavishly on his wedding

11-2-2016 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalaamu alaykum. I am 27 years old and my question is that my parents want me to get married and spend a lot money on my marriage because all they talk about is what the people will say if we have a low key wedding. Also, I do not have enough money to spend for marriage is it okay to stay single for the rest of my life?

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The ruling on marriage varies depending on the circumstances and conditions of the person, and we have already discussed this in fataawa 84026 and 81853.

A Muslim should not totally refrain from getting married, as by doing so he misses much goodness for himself in this worldly life and the Hereafter.

Marriage has many benefits; Al-Buhooti, from the Hanbali school of jurisprudence, said in his footnote in Ar-Rawdh Al-Murbi’ regarding the statement of Al-Hajjaawi in Zaad al-Mustaqni’, "'Marriage is more preferable than voluntary acts of worship if one is under the pressure of sexual desire': for it contains many benefits such as guarding his chastity and the chastity of his wife, providing sustenance for her, getting progeny and increasing the number of the Ummah (Muslim nation), and achieving the fact that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) will be proud of our great number compared to other nations [on the Day of Judgment], and so forth.

The matter of your parents is easy; it should not push you to such thinking. You should seek the help of rational and righteous people to clarify to them that they are wrong in asking that you spend too much money on marriage and that this violates the teachings of the religion; in this regard you may make use of fataawa 88103 and 87514.

If they are convinced, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise, you should get married and only spend reasonably on your marriage. If they get angry because of this, then this does not harm you, but then you should try [after getting married in this manner] to please them through any permissible means. For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 84942.

Allaah knows best.

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