Answered 'yes' instead of bride during the wedding ceremony

9-5-2017 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am a 22-year-old single woman. I am extremely worried about an issue regarding which I am even afraid to seek direct advice. About 10 years ago, when I was almost 12, after my aunt's (my father's sister) death, her widower husband was marrying for the second time, and his second wife was also our relative. There is a weird tradition in the rural areas that during the wedding ceremony, after the "rukhsati" of the bride to her to-be husband's house, the bride is asked for her consent while she is surrounded by women and children, and only two of the men from her in-laws come just to fullfil the formality of asking the bride to say "yes" (only once), and the women secretly ask the bride not to say "yes" soon in order to tease the men who asked and amuse themselves. This was also the case while I was also standing there, and when the men were repeatedly asking, I accidentally said, "Yes," and I was so embarrased. Someone even said that the bride had agreed, but they ignored it, knowing that it was said by someone else and not the bride. I felt guilty and then forgot without telling anyone, but now I feel worried; what should I do? Does this non-serious ‘yes’ hold any value that is not known by anyone else but me?? I am extremely worried and I wish to not get any proposals because I do not have the courage to ask that man to break the marriage if it was valid.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Your question is somewhat ambiguous. We do not know what you mean by saying: "Does this non-serious ‘yes’ hold any value that is not known by anyone else but me?”

We do not know why you are worried.

If what you meant is that you think that you became a wife to that man because you answered with the word "Yes" instead of his wife, then this understanding is wrong, because this marriage does not concern you; rather, it is related to that woman with whom that man conducted the marriage contract.

Marriage has conditions that must be met in order for it to be valid, among which is that both the spouses are specified, the guardian of the woman should give his consent and be present, and so forth.

For more benefit on these conditions, please refer to fatwa 83629.

So there is no reason to worry. If a suitable person proposes to you for marriage, then do not hesitate to agree to marry him, as you are still unmarried. It should be noted that there is nothing wrong for you to look for a husband or propose to a righteous man whom you wish to marry provided that you observe the Islamic etiquette when you speak to him. For more benefit in this regard, please refer to fatwa 82471.

If you mean something else by your question, then please clarify it to us.

Allah knows best.

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