Needs to Check Background of Sister's Suitor

25-6-2003 | IslamWeb

Question:

The following letter is very sensitive so I ask you to understand me and to help me and gave me advice how to behave in the following matter. I have a sister who is about to be engaged to a man who is not Bosnian, but an Arab national. They got to know each other through on Internet Islamic site. In the beginning it was planned that he would come to my country and we get introduced to each other and see if they are both satisfied with each other to make engagement. However, the situation got complicated and he did not come. We never saw this man except from picture that he sent. Now the plan changed and he asked us to come in Qatar where he lives now.
Problem is my sister cannot get holiday of more than 15 days from work. Second thing, we do not know this man and there is no body who can tell us about him and I do not know his personality. He said that all expense of travel will be paid by him. I am just concern is 7 days enough to get know man with whom my sister will live. If all works out bad, I would not be pleased to hear that my sister have bad life with somebody that she married because we did not know or we did not have enough information about that person. Take in mind that we might get invitation to Qatar by mid-July and that he is not Qatari citizen. I ask you kindly to answer to this letter as soon as possible. I ask Almighty to forgive us if we forget or make mistake and to strengthen us on His path and let not our hearts deviate after He guided us.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a man whose religion and moral conduct are pleasing to you proposes to you, then let him marry; otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth." [Ibn Maajah and At-Tirmithi] Al-Albaani graded this Hadeeth as Hasan.

In this Hadeeth, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) urges the guardian of the woman to accept marrying her off to the religious and good-mannered man who proposes for her. So, you are asked as a guardian to find out all important information about this man's morality and piety. You can do that by first asking him about his prayer and his relationship with his Lord. You should also ask him about his stand from the fundamentals of ethic and morality such as: honesty, frankness, shyness, …etc.

In addition, ask others about him, his friends, colleagues at work, neighbors, or a relative of yours living in Qatar and who can inquire about these things.

If you cannot do that from the place where you live now, then we advise you to come to Qatar and do the job yourself. If you are satisfied with his religion and morals, then accept him as a husband to your sister. But keep on asking Allah to inspire you on the right thing and to guide you to that which pleases Him. We ask Allah to ease your matters and guide you to the right path.

Finally, we thank you for your strong desire to help your sister get that which is good for her in this life and the Hereafter.

Allah knows best.

www.islamweb.net