Husband is lax in practice of Islam

26-7-2004 | IslamWeb

Question:

I married an American 11 years ago. When I met him I wasn't wearing hijab. Five years ago I started to practice and my husband since then ignores me in public. He would just take the children out and he used to pray from time to time and in juma but not any more. My question is it ok to stay with such a man like this? I don't want to upset my parents as they are very old and they think I' am happy and I have two young boys from him.
So what shall I do?
Shall I ask for divorce as I feel guilty whenever I sleep with him?

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Really, your decision to wear Hijab is a praiseworthy act. We ask Allah to increase your zeal in performing good deeds and grant you steadfastness on the truth.

A stable married life with deep love and affection between spouses is encouraged in Islam. Hence divorce is made as the last and final solution to marital problems. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If a woman asks her husband for divorce for no reason then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her." [At-Tirmithi]

The purpose of the Sharee'ah by such legislation is to safeguard the married relation as far as possible. Thereupon, we sincerely advise you to sit with your husband in a friendly environment and settle your dispute. Let him understand that by you wearing Hijab you obey the Command of your Lord, and it is a protection for yourself and your honour. In this there is a benefit for him, and it is an obligation on him to help you to wear Hijab instead of discouraging you, becoming angry with you, and deserting you because of you wearing Hijab.

Hence, you should first seek the Help of Allaah and then seek the help of whomever you expect to influence him as Allaah may rectify him and reconcile between you two. If this is achieved, then praise be to Allaah, but he continues to ignore you, then you should be patient and hope for a reward from Allaah as a way of being obedient to your parents and being kind to your children. If the family breaks up, then the chidlren will be spoilt. 

Finally, you should remind your husband of the importance of prayers and the bad consequences of neglecting prayers Allaah says (what means): {But there came after them successors [i.e. later generations] who neglected prayer and pursued desires; so they are going to meet evil .} [Quran 19:59]

Allaah Knows best.

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