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Similar recommendations
The judicious Sharee'ah of Allah The Almighty has confirmed the spouses’ similar rights with corresponding recommendations to both, in order to promote affection and mercy between them, and to urge each of them to care for the other in the best and most perfect way.
The following are some of the advices directed to men:
- Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah Makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:19]
- Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, 
, said: "Be kind to women."
, said: "Be kind to women."- He also mentioned that the Messenger of Allah, , once said: "I sternly warn you against denying the rights of the two [inherently] weak: the orphan and the woman." [Al-Haakim]
, once said: "I sternly warn you against denying the rights of the two [inherently] weak: the orphan and the woman." [Al-Haakim] - In a Hadeeth, Jaabir ibn Abdullaah, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet, , said: "Fear Allah regarding your women, for you have taken them by the covenant of Allah." [Muslim]
, said: "Fear Allah regarding your women, for you have taken them by the covenant of Allah." [Muslim] - Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, related on behalf of the Prophet, : "The best amongst you is the kindest to his family and I am the kindest to my family." [Ibn Maajah]
: "The best amongst you is the kindest to his family and I am the kindest to my family." [Ibn Maajah] - On the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, , said: "The best among you are the kindest to their wives."[Ibn Maajah] Differing versions of this were also narrated by many other honorable Companions, like ‘Aa’ishah, Mu‘aawiyah and Abu Kabshah, may Allah be pleased with them.
, said: "The best among you are the kindest to their wives."[Ibn Maajah] Differing versions of this were also narrated by many other honorable Companions, like ‘Aa’ishah, Mu‘aawiyah and Abu Kabshah, may Allah be pleased with them. The following are some of the recommendations that are directed to women:
- Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet, , said: "The best women who have ridden camels are the righteous women from Quraysh. They are the kindest to their children in their childhood and the best guardians of their husbands’ property." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
, said: "The best women who have ridden camels are the righteous women from Quraysh. They are the kindest to their children in their childhood and the best guardians of their husbands’ property." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] - Abu Uthaynah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, , said: "The best of your women are those who are affectionate, fertile and who soothe their husbands and obey them." [Al-Bayhaqi]
, said: "The best of your women are those who are affectionate, fertile and who soothe their husbands and obey them." [Al-Bayhaqi] - In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn Salaam, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, , said: "The best woman is the one who pleases you when you look at her, obeys you when you bid her, and safeguards your honor and property in your absence." [At-Tabaraani]
, said: "The best woman is the one who pleases you when you look at her, obeys you when you bid her, and safeguards your honor and property in your absence." [At-Tabaraani] - Husayn ibn Mihsan, may Allah be pleased with him, related that his aunt came to the Prophet, , who asked her: "Do you have a husband?” She replied in the affirmative, so he, , asked,“How do you treat him?”The woman replied, “I fulfill all his rights unless I am incapable of doing so.” The Prophet, , remarked, “Do think of how you treat him, as he is your Paradise and Hell." [Ahmad]
, who asked her: "Do you have a husband?” She replied in the affirmative, so he, , asked,“How do you treat him?”The woman replied, “I fulfill all his rights unless I am incapable of doing so.” The Prophet, , remarked, “Do think of how you treat him, as he is your Paradise and Hell." [Ahmad]- ‘Abdullaah ibn Abi Awfa, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet, , said: "A woman never fulfills the rights of her Lord unless she fulfills the rights of her husband." [Ibn Maajah]
, said: "A woman never fulfills the rights of her Lord unless she fulfills the rights of her husband." [Ibn Maajah] - On the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, the Messenger of Allah, , said: "If a woman performs her five obligatory prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise.''[Al-Bazzaar]
, said: "If a woman performs her five obligatory prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise.''[Al-Bazzaar] - In another Hadeeth narrated by Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, the Messenger of Allah, , said: "There are two persons whose prayer will not reach beyond their heads; [..] and the wife who disobeys her husband until she abstains from it." [Al-Haakim]
, said: "There are two persons whose prayer will not reach beyond their heads; [..] and the wife who disobeys her husband until she abstains from it." [Al-Haakim] - Mu‘aath, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Messenger of Allah, , said: "When the wife harms her husband in this world, his partner from the Hoor [in the heaven] says, 'Do not harm him, may Allah destroy you! He is just a guest with you and he is about to leave you and come to us.’" [Ahmad]
, said: "When the wife harms her husband in this world, his partner from the Hoor [in the heaven] says, 'Do not harm him, may Allah destroy you! He is just a guest with you and he is about to leave you and come to us.’" [Ahmad]The general framework of fulfilling rights
Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He Created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He Placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] This verse indicates that all rights between the spouses are to be fulfilled within a framework of love and affection. If, for any reason, their mutual affection becomes weak, each of them should still maintain the other's rights with mercy, which incorporates kindness and faithfulness.
Let each of the spouses remember the Hadeeth where the Prophet, , said: "None of you will have perfect faith unless he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] If the Muslim's right over his brother in faith is so great, then surely the right of the Muslim spouses over each other is far weightier, because the ties of marriage are enhanced by the bonds of Islam. Therefore, this link is very firm, as Allah the Exalted said in the verse where He Says (what means): {And they have taken from you a solemn covenant} [Quran 4:21] Each of the spouses, therefore, has to be mindful of Allah The Almighty with regard to fulfilling the rights of the other, constantly questioning oneself whether he or she has done so or not. If the answer is positive, then that is good for him or her; otherwise, he or she must be truthful in his or her determination [to change], seeking the Help of Allah The Almighty, and avoid feeling incompetent, for He is indeed with those who are patient.
, said: "None of you will have perfect faith unless he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] If the Muslim's right over his brother in faith is so great, then surely the right of the Muslim spouses over each other is far weightier, because the ties of marriage are enhanced by the bonds of Islam. Therefore, this link is very firm, as Allah the Exalted said in the verse where He Says (what means): {And they have taken from you a solemn covenant} [Quran 4:21] Each of the spouses, therefore, has to be mindful of Allah The Almighty with regard to fulfilling the rights of the other, constantly questioning oneself whether he or she has done so or not. If the answer is positive, then that is good for him or her; otherwise, he or she must be truthful in his or her determination [to change], seeking the Help of Allah The Almighty, and avoid feeling incompetent, for He is indeed with those who are patient. 
