Search In Fatwa

Mixing with people should be controlled by Islamic conditions

Question

Assalam Alaikum! If a women think that she is weak in her talking skills, can she avoid , keeping contact with most of the people? in her society,when a person don't talk nicely,people think that person is proud. she was bought up by making her to talk nicely..eventually she end up in gossip.. because most people mostly interest in gossip only. every time she fall in to gossip , after that she regret a lot, thinking next time she will be careful. but it's difficult for her. can she avoid people.?But Allah is asking to maintain relationships.. Please help to balance the situation. May Allah Reward you. Aameen.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

A believer who wants to preserve his religion should only befriend a pious believer who would remind him of Allaah if he is heedless, and he would enjoin him to do good and forbid him from doing evil. He should avoid socializing with disobedient people in general unless there is a need or a benefit, like him calling them to Allaah. The advice of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is: ''Do not befriend except a believer and it is only a pious person who should eat your food.” This is a Hasan [good] Hadeeth reported by Ahmad, Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi, Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them.

The scholars stated that mixing too much with people without being controlled by Islamic conditions is among the causes of the disease of the heart. In general, this leads to major disadvantages, among which is idle talk, getting involved in matters that do not concern a person, and probably a person would hear backbiting, scorning and mocking, and it might be that he is unable to change anything, and so, he will be questioned about this on the Day of Judgment.

Based on the above, if a person can control his mixing with the people by Islamic conditions, then this is better for him, but if he is unable to do so, then it is better to avoid them. The scholars stated that the excellence of mixing with people or being isolated from them depends on the circumstances and differs according to the person and the environment. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 133933 and 86478.

Finally, it should be noted that the sins of the tongue are very serious, especially backbiting and slandering; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81748.

Allaah Knows best.

Related Fatwa