Parents refuse son's fiancée because of autoimmune disease
Fatwa No: 334333

Question

I am engaged and just found out that I have an autoimmune illness. My future in-laws tell my fiancé that he will not be able to take responsility of me and force him to break off our engagement. My illness is not contagious. My fiancé loves me and wants to marry me. He is in this dilemma because of his parents.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

We advise your fiancé to try to convince his parents to consent to his marriage to you. In doing so, he should first seek the help of Allaah, and then the help of his relatives and other people who may persuade them. If they are convinced, then that is all for the best; otherwise, in principle, his obedience to his parents takes priority over his marriage to a specific woman, especially if they have an acceptable justification for preventing their son and not just because of foolishness. His obedience to his parents is an obligation, but his marriage to a specific woman is not an obligation. Indeed, an obligation takes priority over what is not an obligation.

This is of course if he does not fear any harm for himself by not marrying you. In case he does fear harm, then he is permitted to marry you even without their consent. Afterwards, he should strive to please them.

Ibn Muflih, from the Hanbali School, said in Al-Aadaab Ash-Shar’iyyah, “Shaykh Taqiyy-ud-Deen, meaning Ibn Taymiyyah, said, 'If he fears for himself, then keeping her [i.e. the female slave whom his mother orders him to sell] is an obligation, because there is harm on him if he does not keep her.' His statement implies that if he does not fear for himself, then he should obey his mother in not getting married or in selling a female slave, because there is no harm on him in doing so (obeying his mother's request), neither in his religion, nor in his worldly matters.

In any case, if the matter of him marrying you is facilitated, then all the best, otherwise, you should not grieve about the past, rather you should ask Allaah to bless you with another pious husband. Indeed, you do not know what is good for you. You should put the matter in the Hand of Allaah; Allaah says (what means): {But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allaah Knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216]

Allaah knows best.

Related Fatwa