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Ruling on the wife cursing her husband

Question

What is the ruling on the wife who curses her husband whenever the discussion between them heightens? By Allaah, I feel shy of giving you examples of the humiliating insults I am exposed to, given that she adheres to Hijaab and knows the danger of her conduct quite well. I have alerted her many times, but she soon returns to her habits. What should I do with her, given that I have begotten a girl from her, who is the dearest thing to me in this life? Do not forget, may Allaah Reward you, to send me your reply soon on my E-mail mentioned above, in French, so that I would give it to her to read, perchance Allaah, The Almighty, would Guide her heart.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

The wife is commanded to obey, respect and venerate her husband. It is impermissible for her to curse, humiliate or harm him. Cursing anyone is unlawful in itself, then what should it be if the abused is the husband, given that Allaah, The Almighty, Commanded that he be obeyed and respected more than any other person? It is narrated from the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in an authentic Hadeeth, that he said: “Abusing a Muslim is disobedience, and fighting him is disbelief.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] It is also proven that he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “It suffices a Muslim for evil to despise his Muslim brother.” [At-Tirmithi] There are further narrations indicative of respecting the inviolability of a Muslim as a Muslim person, let alone his being a husband, in which case the inviolability is more grievous, and the sin of breaking it is graver.

It is then due on the wife to repent to Allaah The Almighty and apologize for her transgression against her husband. She should know that among the greatest deeds that bring her close to Allaah, The Almighty, is her obedience to her husband. It is narrated on the authority of Umm Salamah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her from the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that he said: “No woman died with whom her husband was pleased, but that she would enter Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi who renders it Hasan] The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, further said: “Were I to command anybody to fall in prostration to anybody, I would have commanded the wife to fall in prostration to her husband.” [At-Tirmithi with a good chain of narrators]

On the other hand, it is due on the husband to be patient and overlook whatever may be overlooked of her conduct.

Allaah Knows best.

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