Rights of parents
Fatwa No: 87019

  • Fatwa Date:17-2-2004 - Thul-Hijjah 26, 1424
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Question

Its true that in Islam the parents respect is beyond any thing. My problem is this that I have sacrificed my whole life for my parents. I didn’t marry, spend all my earning for my family. My mother merits for obedience are very high, even all my efforts I can’t meet them, she is very strict, she wants that we should obey her all times whether she is wrong or right even then she is not happy, its her habit. I tried all my best, all the time I am worried that her mood remain good but I can’t meet her merit, she never forgive. I can’t explain what is her attitude. I am worried that GOD is or may be angry with me. Children can obey/respect parents to a limit or with in their approach but what can one do when in spite of all efforts fails to make them happy, Plese guide me what should I do that my mother is happy with me.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

 

In Islam the rights of parents are great.  Being dutiful to one’s parents is one of the best actions by which a person gets nearer to Allah.  And being undutiful to them, is one of the greatest sins.

The sons and daughters should obey their parents in whatever they order them to do, except if they order them to commit a sin and disobey Allah, then there is no obedience to them, as there is no obedience to a creature in disobeying the Creator.

When we do not obey them in committing a sin, we have to be soft with them. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly,…..}[31:15].

Allah, the exalted, ordered us to treat them kindly even when they try to make us associate partners to Allah.

When being kind to one’s parents, we do not expect a reward from them, but we expect a reward from Allah.

If the parents are not kind and do not appreciate the kindness of their children, then one has to be patient, bearing the difficulties and be steadfast in doing good to them, and the outcome will be good, Insha Allah.

We draw the attention of the questioner that the obedience to your mother should not reach the extent of not getting married and spending all your money on her.  You have to get married even if your mother objects to that, and you can save whatever amount of money you want, if you are giving enough to your mother.

In conclusion, we ask Allah to reconcile between yourselves, and make things easier for you, and choose for you whatever is good.

Allah knows best.

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