Has not yet been informed that her newborn daughter is abnormal

23-4-2009 | IslamWeb


Assalamo aleikom wa rahmatuallah w barakato.Ihave a problem and i dont know how to deal with it,i am a married man alhamdolialah and i have 4 children walilah alhamd .one week ago my sister gave birth to her 6th child, and its a girl walhamdoli alah . But the child is abnormal and her husband and all my family didnt tell her till this time and i dont know why because she is a verry religios woman with a verry big fait in allah and in her life.. i live in europe .and my family lives in an arabic country they told me not to menshion a word to her and that i must act like i dont know nothing even if she try to ask me something...they had told me that she feels that something is going on .she keep asking to her family dont you see thats something wrong in the child?..but they answers like nothing is wrong. I dont know till when they have in mind to keep this away from her and im realy comfused i do not agree with them the way they are ruling things and realy dont want to be a part of this act ..please im waiting for the wright answer inshaalah, the wright way how we must act like moslims wa gazakomallah geiran inshhallah.


All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.


First of all, you did not mention to us the reason which prevents you from informing your sister about the matter and that this child is handicapped.

Therefore, there are two probabilities:

1-    The reason might be the shock and your sister might be affected by this child being handicapped. If this is the case, then in our view she should be gradually informed about it in a gentle and nice manner, and she should be reminded that Allaah may bless her with much and substantial good thanks to having that child who is handicapped. Allaah Says (what means): {But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allaah Knows, while you know not.}[Quran 2:216] For more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fataawa 83577 and 84468 on the reward of being patient on being afflicted with a handicapped child.

2-    The reason might be your sister’s sickness and the like, the thing which may shock her in a way that she will be harmed by such news. If this is the case, then it is better to wait until her situation gets better and in order to repel the expected harm. Indeed, it is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: There should be no harm and no reciprocal harm.” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood] 

Allaah Knows best.