A mother performing Istikhaarah about her daughter's marriage
3-3-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
1. Can a girl's mother do istikhara for her marriage?
2. If the girl is completely satisfied with her decision about marrying a guy who she knows for 4 years and knows everything about him, her heart it completely satisfied with this decision. The guy is religious n doing a good job. Now her mother wanted to do istikhara but the girl said I am sure n satisfied but still the mother did Istikhara n later told that girl that my istikhara came negative. Can mother force her istikhara decision on her?
2. Isn't istikhara done in a confusing state of mind, you are not sure about your decision or when you have more than one options.
3. Istikhara means guidance from Allah n i read it at so many places that once you have done istikhara you should go ahead with the decision, if the istikhara is positive the path will be easy and if the istikhara is negative then that thing will automatically go away from you. Is this correct ? Because if its is correct then nothing such happened in this case, the girl, the guy n guy's family everyone more than willing for this marriage.
Please give me authentic answers and ahadis regarding this specific case n situation.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We have already issued Fatwa 86510 clarifying that, in principle, a person should perform Istikhaarah for his own self and no other person should do this on his behalf. Therefore, it is not permissible for the mother to perform Istikhaarah on behalf of her daughter, but she may ask Allaah to enable her daughter to marry a good man. Then, if this young man is righteous, Allaah will enable the daughter to marry him, otherwise, Allaah will drive him away from her.
The scholars 
stated that Istikhaarah is performed about matters in which a person does not know whether they are good or bad (for him/her). Even if this girl knows much about this young man, she may also be unaware of many things about him; it is only Allaah Who Knows the outcome of all matters.
Moreover, although, in principle, it is not legislated to perform Istikhaarah about the obligatory and recommended matter, Istikhaarah may still be needed about some things that are related to them (those obligatory and recommended matters), like performing Istikhaarah on Hajj, whether or not one would go to it this year, as it is probable that an enemy or a tribulation or the like would prevent a person from that.
Hence, the matter is as you read that the result of Istikhaarah about a matter becomes obvious from the fact whether or not one is facilitated to do the matter on which he/she performed Istikhaarah, and in this case, one should not rely on a dream or on his/her heart being inclined toward it, according to the preponderant opinion of the scholars.
Finally, it should be noted that one should choose a religious person who has a good moral conduct as a spouse, and also ask about him/her those who know him/her. So, one should both perform Istikhaarah and seek people’s advice, and in this case, a person would be guided to do the best thing. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90585.
Allaah Knows best.