Her husband dislikes her family and blames her for their mistakes

25-3-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

My husband is a Muslim but dont pray regularly..only by being told by me..& persuade by me...he is responsible husband,father...but he dislike almost all my family..we always quarrel even with a simple things...he always think of the future that sometimes forgetting the present.In everything that he found fault in my family its always me who pay the price...blaming me..i felt i am psychologically abuse...it affect my work..my patient whenever we argue...i feel that i wanted a divorce bcoz

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

If what you mentioned in the question about your husband is true, then he is committing what angers Allaah as he is neglectful about the prayer. Allaah Says (what means): {But there came after them successors [i.e. later generations] who neglected prayer and pursued desires; so they are going to meet evil. Except those who repent.}[Quran 19:59]

Therefore, he should be advised to take the initiative to repent before meeting his Lord while committing this grave major sin. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88932.

On the other hand, he is acting unjustly toward his wife by holding her accountable for the mistakes of her family, whereas Allaah ordered the husband to have good marital relations with his wife, and his wife is also ordered to do the same. Allaah Says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228]

In fact, raising problems for the most trivial matters contradicts having good marital relations. Therefore, each one of you should tolerate the mistakes of the other and be keen on achieving the stability of the family as this is the most important objective of the Sharee’ah in marriage. Allaah Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy….}[Quran 30:21]

As regards your husband’s hatred towards your family, if this is without a sound reason, then this is forbidden. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “(O! Muslims) Do not hate each other, do not envy one another, and do not be hostile to one another (standing back to back); rather be brothers (as) servants of Allaah.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Hence, you may seek the help of some righteous people to reconcile between your husband and your family.

In any case, we advise you to be patient with your husband and advise him in a soft and gentle manner as he might repent and become righteous. However, if he persists in this condition (i.e. not performing the prayer) and continues to harm you, then you have the right to ask for divorce.

Allaah Knows best.

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