Your parents have no right to marry you off to a man you do not approve of

12-9-2011 | IslamWeb

Question:

my parents want to marry me, but they don't ask for my choice or conditions for chosing/looking /searching for a suitable life partner. I fear that they will chose a materialistic person (maybe a person who follows bid'ah). In either case I can't refuse my parents request because I have younger sisters who also will seek to get married after me. I was informed by a concerned friend of mine, that marriage which is done NOT for the sake of Allah will lead to grave sin, especially if I am married (without consent) to a person who earns haram, involves in shirk and bidah etc. now, people freely utter words that put them beyond pale of islam n also shows disbelieve in Quran ....praise other religion or say "we are living in morden era" I am in no condition to talk to my parents , but I would like to know the sharia rulings for rejecting a marriage proposal. I would do istakhara, but despite that, I do find myself faling into harms way by marrying a person with little or no zuhd o taqwa. I am scared of disobeying my parents if i see any 'reprehensible behaviour/practise' within the person of their choice, but I fear Allah if i fall for the trap of such a marriage which is based upon such worldly/materialistic guy. Please tell me what do i do? is it haram to marry a person whose 'aqeedah/belief' does not agree with islam? is it better to stay at home or marry a person of parents choice (who is probably not going to fit my standards and criteria for marriage)? 2- a woman have to pay kaffarh for ramadan what should she pay ? what if she didnt find anyonr to feed, if all people are well to do around ? can she give money to labours instead, all together or give the amount each day ? for 1 mean or 3 meals ? what if she made them break fast daily instead of money,will she also get reward of fasting or it will be jus expiration of feeding poor n nothin else ? pls pray for our guidnace,taqwa, hidaya, forgiveness May Allah reward you and bless us

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Undoubtedly, the benefits of marriage are well-known, but if the conditions and criteria stipulated by Sharee‘ah in choosing the life partner are not observed, then its evils will be greater than its benefits.

We have previously clarified, in many Fatwas, that it is impermissible for the woman's guardian to give her in marriage to someone whom she does not wish to marry, as shown in Fatwa 90704. Hence, it is impermissible for your father to marry you off to a man of whom you do not approve, especially if he is not acceptable in his religion and moral character. We advise you, dear questioner, first to fear Allaah, and then disclose your concerns to your parents telling them that you like to marry only a man whose religion and moral character you approve of. We also advise you to strive in supplication and Allaah will make for you a way out (from every difficulty). For further information, see Fatwa 88093 about the fact that only the religion and moral character should be the basis for choosing the life partner.

As for your question about Kaffaarah (expiation), it involves various issues. Anyway, you should know, first of all, that the major expiation, i.e. to emancipate a slave, observe a two-month fast consecutively, or feed sixty poor persons, is due only on the one who breaks the fast by having sexual intercourse during the day of Ramadan with no legitimate excuse. But whoever breaks the fast by eating, drinking, or having sexual intercourse forgetfully, he is obligated to make up the fast along with repenting to Allaah, and no expiation is due on him, according to the opinion of the majority of scholars.

With regard to the feeding of a poor person for every day, then it is a ransom due on the following people:

First: the one who is permanently incapable of fasting: he may leave fasting and feed a poor person for each day, in compliance with the statement of Allaah The Almighty (which means): {And upon those who are able [to fast, but with hardship] - a ransom [as substitute] of feeding a poor person [each day].}[Quran 2:184] Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “It was revealed as a concession granted to the aged man and woman who cannot fast, thereupon they (are permitted to leave fasting and) feed a poor person for each day.” [Al-Bukhari] The amount of food to be given is a Mudd of foodstuff, i.e. about 750 grams of rice daily, and nothing more is due. In other words, it is not due to give three meals daily. It is the same whether to feed 30 poor persons all at once or one poor person each day along the thirty days; but one should not feed before the expiation of feeding is proved due on him. Ibn ‘Uthaymeen  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “If one gathers ten poor persons on the eleventh night (of Ramadan), and serves them a meal in one night, it would be sufficient for the first ten days... But if a person feeds thirty poor persons in the beginning of Ramadan, this will not be sufficient for expiation, because no expiation has yet been proved due on him, for which he should feed.”

Moreover, if he serves a meal to a fasting poor person every day, it would be sufficient for him; rather it may be that Allaah would combine for him the reward of serving a breakfast for a fasting person and the reward of giving the ransom; indeed, Allaah The Almighty is the One Who gives abundantly. It is also permissible to give the food out to the poor uncooked. But giving the monetary value of the food instead of food is impermissible in the sight of the majority of scholars. And whoever could find no poor people to feed, the ransom remains due on him until he finds them.

Second: the pregnant or the suckling woman if she breaks her fast out of fear for her child only, in which case, she has to make up the fast along with giving the ransom.

Third: the one who delays to make up the fasts of Ramadan binding on him until the next Ramadan starts with no legitimate excuse, in which case, he has to make up the fast along with feeding a poor for each day he has delayed. For further information, see Fatwa 112475.

Allaah Knows best.

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