An illegitimate son from a man who wants to marry another woman
13-8-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a Christian and had a baby with my ex boyfriend who is a Muslim Lebanese. He wanted to abort the baby after finding out about it but I refused. He said that he doesnt want the baby and that he doesnt care about him and i should not contact him anymore. We were both in Abu Dhabi that time and I had to leave my work and everything I had for 5 years to give way for the baby. After a year, I came back to Abu Dhabi for another work opportunity. I was ready to go on with our lives without him but out of nowhere, his Fiance, a Muslim Tunisian found out about me and our child. She asked about our baby if our son is truly his and even asking for a DNA test to prove his fatherhood. I have nothing to hide so I agreed. She said that if the baby is really his, then she will not marry him as she might experience the same. My question is, what will happen as soon as we proved thru DNA that my baby is really his son? I dont want to ruin their relationship but my ex still denies the truth and doesnt want to take responsibility unless i will tell his Fiance that our baby is not really his son so he can still marry her. In exchange he will support our baby and be a father to him secretly. I disagreed but still his Fiance wants to know the truth. Is there anyway that I could make my ex just admit to his Fiance about our baby? Proven his fatherhood to our child, what will be my child's rights over his father? Should i let my ex's family know about our son? Please let me know coz right now I am totally confused and I am afraid he will take my baby from me after proving he is the father. Anyway my baby is in our country and not living here with me in abu dhabi but i am still worried. Thank u
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to guide you to the truth and open your heart to Islam.
As regards your question, then Zina (fornication or adultery) that you and that man had committed is a grave major sin, but the child born out of Zina is traced back to his mother and not to the fornicator.
However, the result of the DNA test has no effect as the sperm of Zina is not respected in the sight of the Sharee’ah (Islamic Law) under which Zina does not have any effect, so it establishes neither the lineage nor the obligation of spending on this child born from Zina. However, this does not prevent the fornicator from doing good to the child born out of Zina [by taking care of him and spending on him].
Since this is the case, there is no need for DNA tests as nothing is established by it in the Sharee’ah, such as the lineage or the obligation of spending (on the child) and so forth. So, the child is your child and it is you who is obliged to spend on him and not the fornicator unless he spends on him as an act of kindness for the child. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85430.
As regards the fiancée of that man, it is not permissible to lie to her about him; rather, you should say the truth about him and inform her about his conduct so that she knows the truth about him.
Finally, it is a good occasion here to call you to Islam which protects the woman and her honor from abusers. So, Islam has provided for that a security shield of chastity and good conduct, like the prohibition of her being in seclusion with alien men, the prohibition of her not wearing Hijab (Islamic dress), or her being soft in speech to men and so on, as a way of preventing Zina which leads to such disadvantages that you are suffering from now and from which your child born out of a sinful and abominable relationship would suffer.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa (plural of Fatwa) 81979, 88906, 88051 and 85456.
Allaah Knows best.