Husband's protective jealousy over his wife must be reasonable
21-1-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
As Salaamu Alaykum warahmatullah, I have a question: I am quite strict with my wife related to the opposite gender that if I hear her talk about unrelated males I become unhappy and tell off her. Reason why is because I feel as a good Muslim husband I should make sure she is not in contact or talking about un-related males. I love her a lot and can't bear or imagine her speaking about another male it burns me inside. maaShaaAllaah tabaarakAllaah. If my wife has to make contact with a male for a need even the masjid she works in to email the manager even though the masjid is separate and no mixing , I make sure the contact is via me as I don't want her be in touch with non related males. My problems is am I being "over protective"? or am I doing the right thing? Alhamdulillaah my wife listens to me maaShaaAllaah tabaarakAllaah, but I just don't know if I'm being too strict, also I fear being a dayuth the one who lets his women be free and hope I have not got the wrong idea of this... my wife wears full niqab maaShaaAllaah tabaarakAllaah but reason why I am asking is because I'm thinking is it me that is strict or is it the society I am in the UK which makes me feel I'm "too strict"... Please advise me if this is islamically correct what I am doing inShaaAllaah. I need your advice regarding this matter as I am having a lot of trouble and afraid I'm not doing this to the right balance. . jazaakAllaah Khayran.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
A husband's protective jealousy for his wife is commendable. A husband is commanded to protect his wife and shield her against all that exposes her to Fitnah (temptation). Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.}[Quran 66:6]
Commendable protective jealousy is justifiable in case of considerable suspicion; however, if there are no considerable suspicion, there should be no room for jealousy and it becomes blameworthy in this context. We have underlined this matter in Fataawa 90757 and 156495. There is no doubt that it is impermissible for a husband to allow his wife to talk to non-Mahram men freely without abiding by the due Islamic limits in this regard.
However, the examples you have mentioned in your question - getting angry with your wife and rebuking her when she makes mention of some non-Mahram men or requiring her to seek your permission before sending a message to her male manager even if it is work-related - exceed the proper limits of the acceptable protective jealousy on part of the husband. Such an attitude sometimes leads to the exact opposite results! When a faithful wife feels that her husband distrusts her, this may drive her to commit infidelity - since she is already being accused of it anyway. Beware, such an attitude may bring about evil repercussions. Therefore, you should avoid excessive jealousy and abide by moderation in this regard. May Allaah guide you to that which He loves and pleases Him.
Allaah Knows best.