Husband is Oppressive and Does Not Fulfill Her Rights

29-10-2019 | IslamWeb


Salam. I need to ask about status of my husband. I was married to my husband in 2007. At that time according to him he was divorced and had 1 daughter from 1st wife. He showed divorce paper at the time of my nikkkah and marriage done. After 1 month he told me to start job. Then he started to come after 2 days or 3 days to home. I ask him why u are not daily coming, he said my job like that i have too many shift work. We both are doctors by profession. After six months i became pregnant and he said that he is in contact with his first wife as according to court that was not divorce. in December 2008, he brought his first wife. I delivered a girl, later i shifted to my parents home. He stopped contacting us. I file a case in court for money of my daughter. But he given me my daughter custody and told he is not responsible for us. In 2010, he shifted to Saudi Arabia for job and in 2011, i also got job and came to Saudi Arabia. Seven years he didnot contacted us, he remained with his that 1st wife and had four children now. In 2017, he came back to us. He said he has fear of Allah, so he want to meet me and my daughter. He started to visit us but her mother doesnot want him to meet us. Now, like before he doesnot give money, doesnot come to us. He says me to talk to her mother, i tried my level best to talk to her, given gifts, visited her, told her to stay with me. But she stopz her son from visiting us or taking our responsibility. My husband he left us again. I m confused what should my husband do according to islamic point of view. He should leave us like this? My husband prays five times a day. He spent more time in mosque. We both are doctors and live in Saudi Arabia. Plz. Answer what is his status in our life.


All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If the situation is as you mentioned, then your husband has violated the Sharee'ah in three ways:

First, if he lied to you and told you that he had divorced his wife while the situation was not so and she was still married to him.

Second, forsaking you (in bed) without a legitimate reason. It is impermissible for a husband to abandon his wife except if she is Naashiz (rebellious/disobedient), taking into account the command in Sharee'ah to forsake the wife in bed; Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {… and forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.} [Quran 4:34]

The verse includes a warning against abusing the wife if she is righteous and obedient. Al-Qurtubi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him commented on the verse saying: “If you are given power over them, remember the power of Allah; He is All Powerful and has perfect power over all things and creatures. So no one should oppress his wife, for Allah is ever Watchful.” [Tafseer Al-Qurtubi]

The same applies to neglecting his duties towards his daughter, and his lack of attention to her upbringing in terms of care, instruction and guidance. He is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them as stated in the relevant Ahadeeth.

Third, refraining from providing for his wife and daughter. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect his dependents.” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

Therefore, it is incumbent on your husband to repent to Allah The Exalted and to fulfill your rights over him as a wife and the rights of his daughter over him as well. It is impermissible for him to obey his mother if she forbids him from fulfilling these rights. The enjoined obedience to parents is confined to that which is permissible (i.e., not a sin); there is no obedience to a creature in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator. It is advisable that wise people from your family and your husband’s family sit with him and explain to him the gravity and seriousness of his actions. They should urge him to fulfill the rights due on him and keep you in kindness as enjoined or graciously divorce you on reasonable terms. They should also advise him to fulfill the rights of his daughter and remind him that her rights are not waived even if divorce takes place.

For more benefit that a husband should be kind to his wife and not be oppressive towards her, please refer to Fatwa 389524.

Allah Knows best.