How should a husband handle marital problems, and should he complain to his family?
26-10-2026 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamualaikum,There were days last year where I fell short in doing my household work (cooked less food, didnt clean up well). I usually rest on mobile phone fir relaxation ftom emotional stress. On other days extremely cook many dishes and clean well. He would highly praiseMy husband said that it was happening many times but I kept on trying my best. So he went and complained to his parents. My question is should my husband complain to his parents about such matters or resolve btwn us?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The better and more fitting course for a husband is not to complain about his wife to his family or to anyone else. He should speak with her and alert her to any shortcoming on her part, keeping it between the two of them, so as to shield her, to spare her feelings, and to honor the good companionship between them. And he should overlook her slips and lapses, in keeping with the Prophet’s counsel regarding women, and in order to preserve the affection and mercy between them.
Shah Waliullah Al-Dahlawi
said in Hujjat Allah Al-Balighah: “Know that the bond between husband and wife is the greatest of household bonds, the most beneficial of them, and the one most fully needed. For the custom among all groups of people, Arab and non-Arab, is that the wife assists him in securing life’s necessities: she takes it upon herself to prepare his food, his drink, and his clothing, to safeguard his wealth, to nurture his child, and to stand in his place in his home when he is absent, along with other things there is no need to explain or detail.
For this reason, the religious and divine laws' greatest concern is to preserve this bond as far as possible, to protect its aims, and to dislike its being spoiled or voided. And every bond can only be fulfilled through harmony, and there is no harmony except through qualities the two bind themselves to, such as consolation, pardoning the excesses of bad manners, and guarding against whatever becomes a cause of grudges and heat in the chest... And when a person wishes to secure the aims of the household from her, he must pass over trivial matters and restrain his anger over what he finds contrary to his desire.” [End quote]
Allah Knows best