Ways to convince a muslim woman to wear the Islamic Hijab
2-9-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
My fiancée does not wear the Hijaab. What are the ways by which I can convince her to fear her Lord and wear the Hijaab? I would like you to help me use the targheeb wa-tarheeb (arousing-desire-and-inspiring-awe) approach as a persuasive technique.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Muslim woman who is not observing the Hijab, but he should oblige her to wear it. A Muslim husband should not allow his wife to expose her beauty and adornment (in the presence of non-Mahram [permanently unmarriageable] men); he will be held accountable about her before Allaah, the Exalted. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Each of you is a shepherd and will be asked about his flock … the man is a shepherd and will be asked about his flock." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire…} [Quran 66:6]
We advise every Muslim man who seeks marriage to follow the guidelines set by the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in choosing his future wife. Abu Hurayrah 
reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "A woman is married for four things—her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. Marry the religious woman, may your hands be smeared with dust." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] If the questioner is referring to covering the face, (then he should know that) the scholars held two different opinions in this regard. The most valid opinion is that it is obligatory for a Muslim woman to veil her face.
If he is referring to the Hijab that covers the woman's body except for the face and hands, including the hair and feet, then this is obligatory for every Muslim woman according to the consensus of the scholars. You should inform her of that and oblige her to wear the Islamic Hijab.
Among the persuasive techniques that you may adopt to convince your fiancée to adhere to the Hijab is to advise her wisely and gently and inform her of the relevant evidence. Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.} [Quran 33:36]
Allaah, the Exalted, has informed us that when He and His Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, decide a matter, a believer should not have a choice about it. When the Muslim chooses other than the Decree of Allaah, the Exalted, he has fallen into an obvious error. Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allaah Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 33:59]
You should also inform your wife that Allaah, the Exalted, has emphasized that the Hijab symbolizes the woman's purity; so how can she distance herself from it? Allaah says (what means): {And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.} [Quran 33:53]
You should also inform her that Allaah, the Exalted, has forbidden the impermissible exposure of women's adornment and has defined it as one of the foul practices of the pre-Islamic era. Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {And not expose their adornment.} [Quran 24:31] He also says (what means): {And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance.} [Quran 33:33]
You should inform her that the unveiled woman who exposes her beauty and adornment is a poison to the Muslim society and fosters depravity and immorality in it, and you should warn her about being like that. Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {Indeed, those who like that immorality should be spread [or publicized] among those who have believed will have a painful punishment in this world and the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you do not know.} [Quran 24:19]
You should also inform her that the impermissible exposure of women's adornment is among the characteristics of the dwellers of Hellfire. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
Two are the types of the denizens of the Hellfire whom I did not see: people having flogs like the tails of oxen with them, and they are beating people; and the women who dress but appear to be naked, are inclined (to evil), and make others incline towards it; their heads are like the humps of the Bactrian camel, inclined to one side. They will neither enter Paradise nor smell its scent, which is smelled from such-and-such a distance. [Ahmad and Muslim]
You should also inform her that impermissible exposure of women's adornment is considered hypocrisy. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "The worst among your women are those who expose their beauty and adornment, the arrogant ones; those are the hypocrites." [Al-Bayhaqi: authentic]
You should also inform her that impermissible exposure of women's adornment is dishonorable and shameful. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Any woman who takes off her clothes anywhere but in her husband's house has torn the screen between her and Allaah, the Exalted." [Ahmad]
Ask her if she is content with exhibiting her body in Satan's market and with luring and tempting (men's) hearts. Ask her if she is willing to reveal her hair and wear tight clothes that outline the curves of her body; short clothes that reveal her legs and feet; or decorative, showy, and fragrant clothes that bring about the Wrath of Allaah Almighty and please Satan! Each day drives her farther from Allaah, the Exalted, and closer to Satan! What is she waiting for? Tell her that she should hasten to repent, for one can carry out righteous deeds only in this worldly life; in the Hereafter, he will be held accountable before his Lord. She should hasten to turn to Allaah, the Exalted, in repentance before it is too late; each day brings her closer to her grave, and no one knows when death will approach him! Allaah, the Exalted, says (what means): {Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.} [Quran 3:185]
You should also remind her that you will be held accountable for her before Allaah, the Exalted, and if you approve of her impermissible exposure of her adornment, then you will be considered a dayyooth (a man who is not jealous about his honor and who approves of indecency among his womenfolk). The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "There are three types of people whom Allaah will not look at on the Day of Resurrection: … the dayyooth…" [An-Nasaa’i and Al-Bayhaqi; Al-Albani: good-authentic]
Allaah Knows best.