Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
It is permissible for a person to enjoy his wife while she is menstruating as he wishes, except having sex; the Prophet said: "Do every thing except intercourse." (Sahih Muslim). If the "Mani" (sperm) ejaculates during fore play then he has to make Ghusl only, nothing else. This is established by Muslim Scholars.
As for oral sex, please refer to fatawa: 83038 and 81358. Allah knows best.