Marriage without Parents' Approval

24-4-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

What do you say of a man who decides to marry in secret while knowing that what he is doing is going to anger his parents very strongly after consulting them in the marriage? The reasons for the parents' rejecting the marriage were: 1. He is 20 years old. 2. He didn't get a degree. 3. The woman he wanted to marry is known for bad morals committing what is close to Haram. 4. He has no money and no job. But the son decides on cheating the parents and marries in secret. When the parents found out they were against it and they will never bless their marriage at all. The woman, after all that she committed, insults the parents and the family and the son doesn't care and wants to go on with the marriage. Don't the parents have the right to disagree with such a marriage after the reasons mentioned? Is what the man/boy did is of the highest degree of disobeying Allah? I wish to receive my answers in English and Arabic.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

A son has to obey his parents in the matter of his marriage, otherwise he would be a sinner. Marrying a particular woman is not an obligation while obeying one's parents is an obligation. Obeying them is also a kind of being kind and dutiful to them, which is an obligation. Listening to them becomes more important when the parents have a legal reason, as mentioned in the question, to object to the son against marrying a certain woman.

However, it should be mentioned that parents should not blame their daughter-in-law or anyone else without sound evidence, such as seeing or hearing directly or having trustworthy witnesses. Know that blaming of the matters mentioned in the question has very serious effects in the Sharee’ah. So, the Sharee’ah puts more precautions in these matters than others.

Know that acquiring an educational degree or being of age is not among the conditions of marriage. The important qualities considered are that the husband should be physically able to satisfy his wife and bear her expenses.

We advise our brother to obey his parents. In fact, Allah will give him better than what he has left for the sake of Allah.

Allah Knows best.

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