Problems with Wife He Remarried

8-6-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

I married a woman 3 years ago. The, she asked for divorce after 1 year and the judge asked her to return all money I paid to her (full Maher) to me. She got no money at all out of the divorce. After 1 year of divorce, she asked me to marry her again since she felt that she made a mistake. I was afraid that she is coming back to get revenge and get money by asking for divorce again. Thus, I agreed with the condition that she agrees to not ask for divorce again. Also I agreed with her to write me a bank check from her personal account to compensate for the "Maher" I give her in case she asks for divorce again. We got married and I gave her also her Maher after writing the check. After getting married, I showed her that I cut the check (although I cut another one). I wanted to have kids by her and I wanted to make sure of her intentions before doing so. Then, later when she went to visit her family in her country, I called and she told me that she is not coming back. I asked her if she wants to divorce she said no and you can divorce me if you want. It seems that she wants me to divorce her and not ask for divorce so she can get her Maher. My question: What should I do now? Is the check considered Halal to me since she broke the agreement? Also, can in divorce her and cash the check still? Also, if we agree to do "Mukhala", would I be entitled to cash the check? The reason for our first divorce was due to religious reasons. She does not cover properly and listens to music and so on and I am, Insha Allah, trying to avoid these things. She wanted me to become like her and I was not willing and thus many problems occurred.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Dear inquirer! Know that marriage constitutes one of Allah's Signs and His sublime visible wisdom.

Allah, The Great and Almighty, Says: {And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.} [Quran 30:21]

Allah has also described marriage relations with ‘solemn covenant’, as He Says (what means): {But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?} [Quran 4:20-21]

Thus, the inquirer has to know that marriage ties are to be built on mercy and cordiality not on deceit and wrangling.
In addition, their behavior (his and his wife's) is contrary to sound conduct to be followed in accordance with cordiality and mutual trust.

Anyway, we advise you to be frank with your wife and to tell her that the cheque is still with you, so if she returns as a wife, then the problem is finished; otherwise, if she accepts to cede the cheque in return for divorcing her and you accept the cheque against your wife's bond of marriage, then it is up to you.

But, if you want to take the cheque in return for her requesting a divorce only, then this is not allowed; and it will be a form of taking the property of other people unjustly.

However, if she demands divorce, then she becomes recalcitrant (disobedient); and a wife in such a state is to be treated as stated in the Quran; Allah Says (what means): {But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.} [Quran 4:34]

As for taking her property as a first step of treating her, this in fact constitutes a violation to the teachings of Islam. In addition, a wife is not permitted to demand divorce if there is no genuine harm to her. Thawbaan  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Any woman who demands her husband to divorce her without a harm, she is forbidden to (smell) the fragrance of Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood]

For more benefit on the steps to be followed by the husband in dealing with a disobedient wife, please refer to Fataawa 89480, 84120, 357901, 85402, 400900, and 83244.

Allah knows best.

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