Marriage to Christian Not Working Out

7-9-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am a Muslim man and married to a Christian woman for 3 years, and living in a Christian country. I had a girl with her. My intention at the beginning was to call her and bring close to Islam without argument or pressure on her only with my actions and good manners and practice of my religion. I was and still convinced that the only One who can give her guidance is Allah. Unfortunately she is the one who argues with me about Islam on different subjects especially about women in general. I try to do my best to answer to all her questions. I never talk to her about her religion, half of it she rejects like Jesus, their savior, or he is god or the role of their priests. But sometimes I could feel the impression of her mother and her sister on her in her life which I cannot put up too much because afterwards it create a pressure on my daughter. I am still patient even though I believe that it was a mistake to take the risk of this marriage but it could be my destiny. Please advice me more.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Allah made it lawful to marry a Jewish or a Christian woman provided she is chaste. However, marriage to Muslim women is desirable to protect them and to avoid the harms that could possibly affect the faith of the children.

As long as you are married to such a woman, we advise you to do the following:

1) Try to migrate to a Muslim country since it provides safety to your religion and the religion of your daughter as well. Also, it may lead your wife to accept Islam, or at least to abstain from assaulting it.

2) If there is no way to migrate to a Muslim country, then try your best to keep your wife away from those who influence her, like her mother and sister. In addition, contact Islamic centers to provide you with Islamic literature that may help to remove her doubts, or you may find someone who can refute her arguments and convince her.

3) If you cannot do as mentioned, you may divorce her provided you take the custody of your daughter in order to protect your faith and hers.

4) If you cannot take your daughter after having divorced her, and you fear that her mother may spoil her faith, then continue the conjugal life with her without having any more children. The evidence for this action is the practice of the Companions as they used to practice 'Azl (coitus interruptus – which is ejaculating outside of vagina during intercourse) fearing pregnancy.

Finally, make every effort to raise your daughter according to the Sharee’ah and be in contact with Islamic centers to help you in this matter.

May Allah help you and bless you.

Allah knows best.

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