Having two wives is a problem
18-6-2003 | IslamWeb
I am pleased you replied so fast. And yes, I need some advice. Let me tell you directly what is my problem. Originally I am from Europe, with no religion. After that I moved to U.A.E. become a Muslim and married an Egyptian man. One difficulty is, he is already married (I knew that before) for 18 years and he married me 6 months ago. Now we are awaiting our baby, which will be born in September. His wife knew that he is going to get marry me, she even accepted it, and we all expected it to work, Insha Allah. Sometime it's more difficult that we ever imagined. My husband is a great man, with wonderful heart, sensitive and trying his best. Now his wife cannot get over that he married me; we are having hard times with jealousy, and my husband is already tired, trying to satisfy her, and the same for me. Actually we are just living, and sometimes thinking of divorce. I am trying be strong and wise, but sometime I am not and say something what I should not, which makes my husband angry, and thinking of divorce. Sometime I have the feeling that I broke his life and it was a mistake, but at other hand, Al-Hamdu Lillah, I became a Muslim because of him. I need to know, what to do in this case. How should we treat with each other? What is fair? He is, of course, one day there, and one day with me. Is divorce the solution?
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Thanks to Allah Who has guided us and you to the right path, Islam, and we wouldn't have been guided otherwise. We ask Allah for us and you to stick to His religion until we meet Him.
Know that jealousy is normal as long as it does not exceed its limits. In fact, it existed among the wives of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam). But it is prohibited that jealousy pushes you to aggress your co-wife (the other wife of your husband) or deny her rights by talking to her in a bad way or doing any bad act to her. Jealousy should not also push you to trying to deceive your co-wife or dupe her as doing so is among the mean and bad traits. Remember that your co-wife has the same rights you have, so treat her as you want her to treat you.
On the other hand, know that seeking divorce is to destroy your home and the home of your husband which has greater importance since your pregnancy. Asking for divorce can even include a Shariah inconvenience as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Any woman who asked her husband for divorce without any prejudice, the aroma of Paradise is forbidden to her" [ Abu Dawood ].
Moreover, we warn you against disturbing your husband's life as his right upon you is great, especially since he was the cause to your guidance to Islam, hence your safety from Hell. So, try as best as you can to please him and to overcome any disagreements with your co-wife. We ask Allah to ease the matters of all Muslims.
Allah knows best.