Involved in an unlawful relationship after marriage
27-10-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a 31 year Muslim male, living and working in United States.
I want to ask your advise on the matter of my marriage. I have known and loved a girl for a couple of years and we have a lot of understanding and emotions for each other. Our feelings are mutual for one another and we believe in our hearts that we will make a happy couple. She has all the qualities that I have always looked for in my future wife.
Recently my parents asked me to visit India, when I get there, they had all the wedding plans set up and I was emotionally coerced into getting married.
I tried to forget about the love I had and begin a life with my wife, but day by day it is getting more and more difficult to continue this relationship. I am afraid that I will never be able to forget my true love and provide my wife with the happiness that she deserves from a husband.
I have tried to fulfill all the obligations of a husband, but she still senses and objects at the fact that something is wrong as I am not as happy as a normal married man should be. I am afraid that this situation is just going to get worse because she will not understand what I have been through.
I am thinking about a divorce, as much as I would try to pursue this relationship and if at the end it does not work out, me, my present wife and the girl I am in love with, will all loose.
Can you please help?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
No doubt that you have committed many acts that goes against the Shariah rulings. These acts include your having a relationship with a woman who is alien to you and your exchanging love expressions with her, all of which are forbidden as any relation between a man and an alien woman outside wedlock is unlawful.
So, dear brother, may Allah protect you; hasten to repent from these sins, and thank your Lord for having saved you from marrying such a woman who seems to be a non-religious one. Limit yourself to your wife whom Allah has made lawful to you. We hope your wife is pious and of good character. As the pious woman is the only one who can be entrusted with honour and money. This is why the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) urged young men to seek pious women if they want to be successful. [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Finally, we would like to advise you of some steps that would help you interrupt your relation with this lady.
1. Convince yourself of the impossibility of marriage to this lady. When you despair of this marriage you will give it up.
2. Remind yourself of her shortcomings.
3. Remind yourself of the danger of the sins you commit because of her love.
But more importantly take refuge with Allah. Ask Him to make you forget her love and forget being linked to her in any way.
Allah knows best.