Her parents do not accept a proposal due to social issues

9-5-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

A man of good religious and moral character has proposed to marry me, despite the fact that he is already married and has 2 kids. My parents do not agree to this proposal due to social issues of our society. I am confused whether I should marry him without the consent of my parents and without them knowing about it or should I forget about the whole situation. Please note that I am 38 and do not have any other reasonable proposal. I have known this person since 4 years and am confident that I shall be comfortable with him, but I don't wish to go against my parents' wishes either and bestow upon myself Allaah's Wrath for being disobedient to both HIM and my parents. Please advise me.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

First of all we supplicate Allaah to ease your matters, grant you a pious husband and a happy married life.

Islam allows a man to marry more than one wife if he is able to meet the required responsibilities. Muslims are obliged to prefer the rulings and commands of Allaah over their cultural traditions and other practices. First priority should be given to pleasing Allaah and observing His commands above anything else.

If the reality is as you mentioned in your question we advise you to convince your father to marry you off to this man. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. Otherwise, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption." [At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa'ee and Ibn Maajah]  See our Fatwa:  83445.

Try your best to convince them, reminding them of the rulings of Islam. It is better to take the help of good influential persons in your family or community to convince your father.

If he does not change his mind and insists on his opinion then you have the right to consult to an Islamic court or Muslim authorities. They have the right to marry you off against the will of your parents.

The idea of leaving the matter as it is, or getting married without the knowledge of your parents is absolutely wrong.

Finally, you should know that having any relations with a marriageable man out of the boundary of marriage is forbidden.

For more details, please read Fatwa: 84281

Allaah knows best.

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