Strong in sex desire but weak on telling his parents he wants to marry

1-6-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am 24 years of age and economically strong Al-hamdu lillaah. I feel very strong sexual desire but I am unable to tell it to my parents because of shyness. What does Islamic Fiqh suggest in this matter? One thing is for sure, whatever happens, it has to be according to wish of my parents who are not showing interest in my marriage for the time being, and secondly I can't just go and say to them "Mom, Dad! I want marriage".

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

The Islamic legislation urges Muslims to marry [early] as there are great religious benefits in marriage; it helps the Muslim in religious matters, it protects his chastity, it increases the progeny of this righteous nation, and so forth. Allaah Says (what means): {And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.}[Quran 24:32]

Besides, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Therefore, since you are financially solvent and physically eager to marry, then you should take the initiative to marry. Indeed, you are obliged to take the initiative to marry if you fear committing fornication otherwise.

If you are embarrassed to mention this subject to your parents, then you can seek the help of righteous relatives and other righteous people and endeavour to convince them in case they refuse. If they agree, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise you have to obey them as long as delaying marriage does not cause you any harm, like fearing to commit fornication and the like. In such a case, you do not have to obey them and it is permissible for you to marry without their consent, but after you marry, you have to endeavour to please them.  

Allaah Knows best.

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