Her husband and work colleagues discourage her from wearing Hijab
9-2-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
Al-hamdulillaah, I converted to Islam about 5 yrs ago. I do not wear Hijaab yet, although I experimented with it last year for about a month. During this month, I received too much attention: from men, from women, from co-workers, from strangers. Everyone had comments, good and bad, mostly good or just curious. This made me extremely uncomfortable. I felt as though it had the exact opposite effect that it was supposed to. I also felt that it highlighted my religion, and made it a topic of conversation, which I feel does not belong at work. It's a mixed environment, and I am not comfortable explaining to strangers why I converted, especially b/c they often want to show me how I'm wrong and need to return to church. I was never so uncomfortable or embarrassed in my life. I truly wanted to quit me job, but my husband wouldn't permit it unless I found work that would pay the equivalent. I was unable too, so as it seems to be Allah's will, I stayed in my present position. Now my husband and I had a long discussion on Hijaab and he gave the choice of wearing Jilbaab with Hijaab, or normal (decent) clothes without Hijaab. He has not forbidden me from wearing it. And I have to defend him a little b/c he sounds somewhat loose. He is not. He leads us in Salat regularly, explains Tafseer, lectures us on Islamic behavior and even went to Hajj last year. But he never wanted to marry Muhijaba, he wants me to be the 'modern' working woman, that demonstrates modesty thru actions not clothing. He has known Muhijaba that do not behave Islamicly except thru dress and he feels its the least important of what I need to aim for and learn as fairly new Muslimah. He places learning Arabic and memorizing/reading Quran (or even translations) regularly, learning Tafseer, being a kind and obedient wife, limiting dislikable talk (gossip, bad language, immoral subjects) with non-Muslims (and Muslims), etc, far ahead of Islamic dress code. Al-Hamdulillah, I have already made so many changes in my life after accepting Islam, and Al-Hamdulillah most of these changes came from his good advice and gentle lessons. I personally know that I should wear Hijaab, but I don't particularly want to. I really don't want the extra attention that I received and would rather be mostly ignored as I am in regular western clothes. Inshaa' Allaah, when his son from a previous marriage is older, we'll move to an Islamic country. If we leave now he'll be raised entirely by Christians and the court says that we can't take him. Inshaa' Allaah then my husband will feel differently. But what do I do in the mean time?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Allaah Says (what means): {O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments." That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused.}[Quran 33:59]. So, a Muslim woman is compelled to wear Hijab exactly the same way she is compelled to abide by other religious obligations, like the prayer, fasting and so forth. She is also obliged to avoid slandering and backbiting and the like. Therefore, a woman is not permitted to be negligent about wearing Hijab, and she should not obey her husband if he orders her to take it off, as there is no obedience to a creature when it entails disobeying the Creator. On the contrary, the husband should support and help his wife in wearing Hijab and preserving her chastity, and not the instruct her to do the opposite. It is not correct to say that one should be bashful in dealing with people and not in the clothes he/she wears; as both matters are religiously required.
Moreover, if the job requires a woman to take off her Hijab then it is forbidden to do this type of work, and there is no good in such a job. There would be no blessings in the earnings from this job, especially if it involves men and women intermixing.
We advise you to discuss with your husband with good and soft words and endeavour to convince him about the matter of Hijab and other religious requirements that we have discussed, and we hope that he will submit himself to Allaah's Order, since you mentioned some good characteristics about him and his love for doing good.
Allaah Knows best.