All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have already issued Fataawa 83604 and 85446 stating that celebrating the 40th day after the death of a person is an innovation which neither the Prophet nor his companions did. Similarly, gathering and sitting for morning after the 40th day and before the 40th day is disliked.
Jareer Ibn 'Abdullaah Al-Bajali said: ''We used to consider gathering at the home of the deceased and preparing food for his family after burying him as mourning.'' [Ahmad]
We advise you not to go to, or participate in this invented matter, and you should advise your family with wisdom and in a soft manner and clarify to them that all the good is in following the Sunnah of the Prophet and all the evil is in following innovations. The Prophet said: "…the worst matters are the newly invented ones…"
Finally, we ask Allaah to forgive and have mercy upon your deceased and upon all the dead Muslims.Allaah Knows best.