She no longer trusts her husband

24-4-2007 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am a new muslim and trying to lead a life as a good muslim woman, actually it was my husband's good moral behaviour and character that first attracted me to Islam and also to him. We got married after 6 years of knowing each other and overcoming a lot of hassels. We were leading a very contended and a happy life until our daughter was born a few months back, when my daughter was only a month old my husband got friendly with another girl, they were supposed to be just friends, he never told me about her until I found out and questioned him. After a lot of tiffs and arguments he told me he will not talk to her ever again. And if she ever called him or they got in touch again he would definitely tell me. Just few months after the above incident I came to know that he has taken loans from different sources and invested in a business (by the way want to say here that I am working also) which he has not told me about. I also came to know that the girl had started calling him again. I questioned him regards to both the loan and the girl but he denies about both , that he has not taken a loan and the girl is also not calling him again. I know from someone who he told about both the things, but he is not ready to confess infront of me and is ready to swear on our daughter , when I know he is lying. I cannot confront him regards the above as even small issues lead to big fights and arguments and I have told him that I will trust him, as he complained that I dont trust him as before he was friendly with this girl. But apart from what I told him I cannot get out of the fact that he broke my trust after 8 years and he is syill lying to me. I want him to be true with me whatever happens , and also to lead a religious & truthful life. I want everyone to pray for him to be a religious pious /true muslim man like before whom I loved. Please advise prayers that I can say for him to lead him to follow the right path and for me to able to love him and trust him like befor

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

First of all, all perfect praise be to Allaah, Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the day you meet Him.

We ask Allaah to reward you for being steadfast on the truth and make your husband and daughter a comfort to your eyes. There is no doubt that it is not permissible for a Muslim to establish an affectionate relationship with a marriageable woman. Hence, if your husband established a relationship with a girl, then he is wrong. However, since he mentioned that he abandoned this relationship, you should trust him, and it is not permissible to accuse him of re-establishing this relationship without evidence. You should also believe him about the debts, and a husband is not obliged to inform his wife about his investment or any other monetary issue.

Therefore, we advise you not to open the door of the whispers of satan because this may spoil your life and cause divorce between you and your husband, and if this happens, it is a calamity. Rather, you may frankly talk to your husband and agree with him about what you want him to be, like being a pious and righteous man, truthful, and the like.

As regards the supplications which you asked about, there are no specific supplications but you may supplicate with the verse in the Quran in which Allaah Says (what means): {Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes.}[Quran 25:74]. You may also supplicate with the Prophetic supplication: "O Allaah make him steadfast and firm on Your Religion and guide him." (a supplication said to one companion) [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Also, you may supplicate with the following Prophetic supplication: "Allaahumma rahmataka arjo fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ayn, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaaha illa ant."

"O Allaah, it is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You." [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

Finally, we would like to comment on two matters that were mentioned in the question:

1-    Your statement: “…they were supposed to be just friends”, sounds as if this relationship is permissible, rather it is not permissible to establish any kind of relationship with her since she is a marriageable girl to him.

2-    Your statement: "…he is ready to swear on our daughter": It is not permissible to swear by other than Allaah and doing so is Shirk (associating partners with Allaah) as reported from the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ). For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82456.  

  Allaah Knows best.

www.islamweb.net