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Fatwa CenterRights of a step-father on a step-son after divorcing his mother
Question
As salamu aleykum, I would like to know what rights does the stepfather have on his stepson after divorce. We are living in the UK. My husband and I have finalised civil divorce but at the moment he is still blocking the Islamic divorce (after more than one year living seperately). He feels very resentful because I went to the police after he was very violent to me; he got arrested and I also got an injunction order against him. He feels also very resentful over the fact that he now did not see his stepson for more than a year. We live seperate now and I don't feel comfortable with my son having contact with him after all the things my husband has done; I feel that it is not a healthy situation for my son if he's in the middle of all the divorce problems, especially when my husband is so angry about everything. My husband claims he has rights over my son, because of the aya in the Qur'an which talks about stepdaughters. I did read many things about stepfathers, but not about their position after divorce. My husband seems to think that he will continue to be like a stepfather/mahram, even after divorce - he thinks that he has almost the same position as a biological father, except for the fact that my son can never inherit from him. I don't trust him with my son and thought that after divorce he's not considered to be a stepdad anymore to my son. Ofcourse we thank him for all the good he has done in the years that he helped me raising my son and the biggest reward will be from Allah Subhana wa ta'ala for these acts of kindness. However my 10 year old son witnessed also violence and abuse from him and he even treated my son sometimes very harsh. I don't think it is good for my son at this moment to stay in touch with my husband. So, the main question is what are the rights of a stepfather over his stepson after divorcing the mother of his stepson?? Baraak Allahu feekum for your answer. Wa salamu aleykum, sister Maryam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We do not know that the stepfather has any religious rights on the wife’s son from her previous marriage, but he [the son] should respect him and be grateful for the good which he received from him; there is no difference whether this is before or after the divorce. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 103642.
You should know that divorce in the court is not religiously taken into account, and staying apart is not considered a divorce as we clarified in Fatwa 82732.
Therefore, if your husband did not divorce you, then you are still considered his wife.
This matter should not be left like this pending; he should either keep you and be kind to you or divorce you honorably.
Therefore, we advise you to take the matter to an Islamic centre in your country [since you are living in a non-Muslim country] as it is more appropriate for them to look into these matters of disputes.
Allaah Knows best.
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