Fatwa No : 173139
Wife asks for divorce because her husband married a second wife..
Fatwa Date : Rabee' Al-Awwal 20, 1433 / 12-2-2012
Salam alaikum. Allah bless you. I need advice on a matter. I and my husband has been married for 3 years. For 7 months ago, he traveled to another country to renew hus passport. His parents and mine were against our marriage. A week ago, my aunt called to my father and said that my husband taken second wife. My father was furious (my parents are Muslims but they are practicing most traditions not Islam) so my father said I must devorce my husband. I have talked with my husband (we both have weak iman, but working on it all the time) He says he was pressured into a new marriage and even though he is married the second time, he does not want divorce me. I'm not sure if he has been unfaithful (zina). My brain says maybe it is the best to divorce, but I do not want it with all my heart. If he has done everything legally by Allah, who am I to deny him that? Allah is witness, I do not want to be divorced, not because I can not live without him, but because the divorce should be a last resort (I provide for myself and financially independent of my husband) My parents have decided and said if I get back with him after this, they do not wish to have any contact with me. I love my parents and do not know what to do. I know if we both don't want a divorce, it is not valid even if we are forced. By my traditions it is great shame, when your husband gets married for the second time ( and in this case people saying that he has been with her before marrige, he dinys it, so I don't know if it is true)
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.
The marriage of a man with a second wife is something that the wise Sharee'ah has permitted for whoever is able to be just between his two wives. So, there is nothing wrong with it Islamically, even if the people consider it as wrong based on their customs and traditions which contradict the Sharee'ah.
Indeed, you did well as you mentioned that you do not want to ask for a divorce. A wife is not permitted to ask for a divorce just because her husband has married another wife.
For more on the situations when a wife is permitted to ask for divorce, please refer to Fatwa 88408.
Also, your parents have no right to urge you to ask your husband to divorce you just because of the reason which you mentioned in the question, and you are not obliged to obey them in this regard. Indeed, obedience is required only in what is permissible and it is not permissible for the parents to ask their daughter to separate from her husband without a sound reason. Ibn Taymiyyah said, "If a woman is married, her husband has more dominance [right] over her than her parents, and she is more obliged to obey her husband than her parents."
Al-Mardaawi said, "She (the wife) is not obliged to obey her parents if they order her to separate from her husband."
Therefore, we advise you to have a good marital relationship with your husband and be gentle with your parents. You should try to convince them to change their mind and you should supplicate to Allaah to facilitate this for you. You may seek the help of some righteous people to influence your parents in this regard. Then, if they change their mind, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise you should endeavor to attain their pleasure and you should not cut relations with them even if they cut relations with you, and you should be kind to them even if they mistreat you. This is because it is an obligation to fulfill their rights of kindness and obedience to them at all times.
Allaah Knows best.
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