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Did not Give Her the Dowry

Question

As salaamu alaikum,I'm a convert to Islam of about 13 years and I'm originally from Germany.However I decided to marry a Muslim from Egypt, thinking it would be best for my future.We married 8 years ago. I asked for hajj as mahr which he accepted. The family added that I should ask for money as a mahr too, so we also included a certain amount of money as mahr.Til now he hasn't paid the mahr. He doesn't have a job and pays only about 30% of our bills while I pay the other 70%. However in these 8 years ago he had 3 opportunities to pay at least a part of the mahr, when he got a bigger amount of money from his family.Til this day I didn't get 1$ of the mahr. Is the marriage even legal considering he never gave me my mahr?And what are my rights considering him not paying the bills?I left my family and a good life for him while now I live a miserable and unhappy life and even he doesn't give me my rights. What can I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.{C}

If the marriage took place while fulfilling its conditions and its pillars, then it is a valid marriage according to the view of the majority of the scholars, even if the dowry was not mentioned or if the dowry was something which is invalid.

Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said:

If he marries her without a dowry, then the marriage is valid.” He also said: “If a forbidden dowry was mentioned in the marriage contract, such as wine [all kinds of intoxicants], or pig, then the naming is void but the marriage is valid. This is explicitly stated by Ahmad and this is the view of the majority of the scholars of Fiqh.” [End of Quote]

Therefore, your marriage does not become void just because your husband did not give you the dowry, or because the naming of the dowry is not valid.

The scholars differed in opinion concerning the validity of the dowry being that the husband takes his wife to Hajj. Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said:

If he marries her that her dowry be that he takes her to perform Hajj, then the dowry is not valid. This is the view of Ash-Shaafi’i. However, An-Nakha'i, Maalik, Ath-Thawri, Al-Awzaa'i, the scholars of the Hanafi School of jurisprudence and Abu ‘Ubayd said: “It is valid.” In our view, taking her to Hajj is unknown, and its method is not specified, so it is not valid. The same thing applies if he married her and told her that he would give her something [unknown] for the dowry. Hence, in this case, she deserves the dowry of the women of the same social status like her. This applies to all cases where we mentioned that the dowry is not valid.” [End of quote]

If the contract was concluded that the dowry be a known amount of money in addition to Hajj, then according to the view that it is valid for the dowry to be Hajj, your husband is obliged to give you that amount of money and to take you perform Hajj as well. According to the other view, then you deserve the dowry of the women of the same social status like you that is not less than the amount of money agreed upon between both of you.

Ad-Durr Al-Mukhtaar and Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen reads:

…If he marries her with her dowry being 1,000 Dirhams in addition to honoring her; or marries her with a dowry of 1,000 Dirhams in addition to a gift, then in case he divorces her before he consummates the marriage with her, she deserves half a thousand, and not the gift. In case he consummates the marriage with her, she deserves the dowry of the women of the same social status like her that is not less than 1,000.

As regards the expenses on the house, then it is your husband who is obliged to spend on the house in reasonable terms, and you are not obliged to spend anything unless you do that as an act of charity (with your own free will). However, if you had spent on the house while intending to ask your husband to reimburse you, then it is a debt on him [which he is obliged to give you back] For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85012.

Finally, we advise you to have a mutual understanding with your husband and clarify to him the rights that he is obliged to fulfill for you. In case he is in financial difficulties, then you should be patient with him until he becomes able to fulfill your rights. If dispute arises between you and him concerning these matters, then you should take the matter to the people of knowledge in the Islamic centers in your country.

Allah knows best.

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