Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu! All praise is due to Allaah alone! And may His peace and blessings be upon our noble Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam. Dear Shaykh, my father gave me money a long time ago to pay for my textbooks, tuition fees, and something else. My faith was low at that time, and I was suffering from an on-and-off alcohol addiction, and I stupidly spent some of that money on alcohol. To make things matter, I would spend and spend when I was drunk without thinking twice. This was not the first time it happened. The first time it happened, I told my dad about misusing the money without mentioning the alcohol issue. It hurt him a lot! I do not know what to do. I do not want to tell him that I misused the money that he gave me a second time. I fear that it may cause him even more pain this time, so I have not told him about it. He is over the age of 60, and stress is not good for him. I fear for his health if I were to tell him. Besides, he may ask information about my bank account if I tell him a second time. My bank account has months and months of statements of liquor purchases. How shameful indeed! I have decided to stop drinking permanently, and I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms, but I love my Lord and do not want to displease Him, and He will make it easy if I put in the effort to stop. Is it ok if I conceal the evil of misusing the money that my dad gave me this time so as to avoid a bigger fitnah (temptation, tribulation) with him? It would cause a major problem between me and him if I were to tell him. I will try and collect the amount that I misused and send it to him in secret or give it in sadaqah as a last means. Is this permissible? Please advice me. Thank you.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
You are obliged to do two things: first, repent to Allaah sincerely of drinking alcohol and of being disobedient to your father by using the money that he gave you for another purpose contrary to the purpose which he intended. Please refer to fatwa 86527 about the conditions of repentance. Second, conceal your sins and not disclose them to any person. It is impermissible for the sinner to announce his sin, as we explained in fataawa 84052 and 83573. There is no harm in concealing your misuse of that money from your father.
If you know that your father had intended to help you financially with this money in general without specifying a particular purpose for spending it, then this money has become your personal property to freely dispose of as you wish. In such case, you only bear a sin for spending it on an unlawful purpose, and you are not obliged to repay the money to your father, neither secretly nor openly. However, if his intention was to give you this money particularly for financing your studies, then you are liable to repay this money to him or seek his pardon. In that case, you have to deliver the money to him by any means possible, even if indirectly, and your liability is not cleared by spending this money in charity (sadaqah).
Allaah knows best.
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