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Fatwa CenterParent's treatment of disobedient children
Question
If our children does not obey us, i-e they misbehave with their parents, what should the parents do?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Children are naturally predisposed to be good and kind to their parents, because Allah has put this natural disposition of affection and love between the parents and children.
In order for the children to grow up obeying and being dutiful to their parents, the following means may be helpful:
To nurture them on religion and faith
- To sow good moral standards and manners in them.
- To deal with them justly, in being affectionate to them and in offering gifts to them.
- To treat their mistakes and misconduct with wisdom.
- Not to be nervous or fanatic when dealing with them, as this badly affects their lives, and may lead them to be vengeful by being undutiful and so on.
Therefore, we advise you to follow these means, may be you will be successful in bringing them back to reason and righteousness. As for the one who insists on being undutiful, you can hit him slightly, if you think that this might be beneficial for him.
If the parents are afflicted by an undutiful son, they have to know that this is a test for them, so they have to be patient. They have also to supplicate as much as possible for him, as the supplication of a father for his son is answered.
It is confirmed that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: "There are three supplications that are answered without any doubt: the supplication of a victim of injustice, the supplication of a traveler, and the one of a father to his children." (Reported by Ibn Majah and others.)
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