I wrote to you before and you responded back to me in Fatwa: 89644.
I am suffering a great deal at this time. What I have committed will not be forgotten by anyone; my husband, family, friends, etc. everyone knows. I cannot hide that I am confuse. People telling me that my life is over with my husband. No man will forget what I have done. He will always remember it and it will come up all the times for any reason even during normal day to day life. I will not be able to breath I will be always controlled managed and forbidden of even say anything. This life I cannot live. We will fight and kids lives will be damaging. I see the only path is get divorce and raise my kids since it seems the legal system in this country (America) will give me the custody and visitation to the father. I do not need anything from him; child support, alimony nothing I am making more income now than him. He wants to get his gold back and house we live in together. I know he still love me deeply and wanted me to repent of what I have done and put Hijaab and do Umrah and Hajj and not working and stay home. I have to work to make future for my kids we cannot live on his income alone.
We are in the legal court which taking all money he or me making and will make now or in the future if we do not agreed together. He wants the house and I do not want to responsible for debts back home. I believe is the house is belonging to the kids and I believe that the court many give it to me. He said he will fight me till he destroys me. The victim will be in this case is the kids. I know he badly injured by my affairs with the other man but I cannot change the past. It seems he will never leave me alone ever he may. He only wants me back in the way he wants as I mentioned above.
Some times I feel that I may consider go back but I feel how bad the life will be.
Some times I feel it is better to get divorce for the kids sake since damages had done already after my action. Should I go back or not I cannot make that decision. Some other times when I discuss this with the person I got involved and had the affairs with whom I have emotion for him and showed my different meaning of life that I must continue seeking divorce till the end and I should marry him.
I am very confused and can not decide what I should do with my life and which path should I take. My husband still have some influence on my to go back when we talked But I know him very well and I do not thing he will forgive me of my action and always will be wall between me and him in addition to all other aspects of life and people know and that make me some time to think he is better without me. He deserve good wife not me. Other times I feel I should get with this person and try this life that I am already gone through as every body else did and said. Please tell me what can be done as per our Islamic rule to make the correct path with the least harm.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The door of repentance is always open, [as long as a person does not breath his last] and no matter how great the sin is, Allaah forgives it as He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful. Allaah Says (what means): {Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by committing evil deeds and sins] do not despair of the Mercy of Allaah. Verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, it is He who is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful."}[Quran 39:53] So you are obliged to take the initiative to repent to Allaah and cut relations with that man and not allow him to have sexual relations with you.

You should ponder and find out the reasons which led you to commit this great major sin which is a disobedience to your Lord and an abuse to your husband's right on you, so that you could close any door that could lead you to committing the same sin again.

Besides, you should repel the whispers of the devil who is trying to make you despair of repenting and returning to your husband.

If you sincerely repent and your husband wants to keep you as a wife, then he can do so, and it might be that this is more appropriate for the benefit of the children as divorce might have a very bad effect on them. However, it is not permissible for your husband to have sexual intercourse with you until you make sure that you are not pregnant from that man if you had committed adultery with him by observing three menses, according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars . Your husband has to treat you well and he should try to forget what happened and protect your religion and honour.

If he [your husband] fears that people would speak ill of you and him, then he can move to another country in order to avoid this embarrassment.

However, if you are insisting on being sinful and taking a friend outside of marriage and cheating your husband, then he is obliged to divorce you as there is no good for him in keeping an adulterous wife. If divorce takes place, you are not legally entitled to the fostering of the children as long as you are on this state of affairs, as by being a dissolute wife, you lose the right of fostering the children.

Allaah Knows best.